Lets Get A Little Trippy Tonight

It always strikes me as strange, how often I look around me at all the different so-called ‘spiritual’ thoughts out there in the world and feel as if the entire planet is insane!

I know this must sound a little rich coming from me, given the stuff I come out with. However, for me, my reality and philosophy is really simple, logical and obvious. I guess the truth is always obvious once you can see it lol.

Early on in my path I was thought to think things through. It was something that was stressed over and over again, that the truth was always pretty obvious if you simply thought about it. Never let it be said that the universe does not have a sense of humour! Quite often, you can see the fun being had with us on a regular basis lol.

The truth is all around us but we don’t actually hear it, don’t think about it or assimilate it.

We are ONE…

What else can this mean but…there is only ONE of us… and that ONE is incarnated into every living being here.

I hear you saying ‘Oh yes, but just because we are all the same universal spirit, that does not mean that you are ME!’

Really…? What else does ONE mean???

This is just a daft example of what I mean.

In the bible, we are told that ‘GOD is everywhere and IN ALL THINGS!’

Somehow people hear this and think it means everywhere… except me…

Bloody hell. People can be so dense… so daft.

OK…so we are all ONE (yes, the same one) and if God is everywhere then that must mean that WE are it…wouldn’t you say?

See what I mean…really simple when you stop and think about it.

OK…so In the beginning was GOD (yes that ONE we mentioned before that we all are)…and before God ..was God… umm…what?

So logically speaking…God was Here since before the beginning…and the only way he could have been…is if he is always here…and is simply going around and around in circles…like the snake that eats its own tail.

God…is all of us (He’s keeping it secret from himself so he can experience these lives) and when he finally wakes himself up… he will repeat again from step A…ad infinitum.

Why??? I have no idea… you tell me as your guess is as good as mine. It’s fun I guess!

There… now we are all enlightened lol.

You don’t believe me yet do you. It’s a bit too much…a bit too big to believe.

Don’t worry, you will know it’s true soon enough.

Nite nite

ME x

The Stages of Enlightenment / Waking Up

I’ve been seeing some really sad exchanges on Facebook recently regarding belief and enlightenment. I think there are so many stages of the path where people innately feel that they know everything and have the desire to teach and assist. This inevitably leads to conflict with those who are still growing.

We are all eternally progressing and growing, no matter where we might think we are and as such, we will always have differing points of view to each other. I feel that the aim of the game, if we are ever to move forward as a race, is to understand this as a fact and accept it so that we can eternally disagree while keeping with the spirit of progression.

We are meant to disagree with each other. We are meant to love each other despite this. There are always going to be those who cannot wrap their heads around this and won’t play nice with others, those who cannot be respectful and to all of you I would suggest this…kick them out until they learn to be respectful to others. Respect and love must be a two way thing. They cannot expect it from us if they are not capable of giving it. Let them in when they learn to be responsible human beings lol.

In the meantime… this is a work in progress. This is the generalised stages of the PATH.

It is only a guide and is not meant to be exhaustive.

I will maybe fine tune it at a later date… just note how many times on it we believe (quite genuinely) that we know everything. This being the case… don’t worry about convincing each other. Don’t worry if others disagree… just play nice and support each other no matter what you all think. We are all on the same path.

Have a good one people.

Love you all,

Gillian xxx

 

  • Asleep – unaware that we are asleep.
  • Asleep – unaware that we are asleep – but realising there is knowledge we don’t know.
  • Asleep – unaware that we are asleep – learning – humble.
  • Asleep – unaware that we are asleep – learning – feel we know everything.
  • Asleep – unaware that we are asleep – living – feel we know everything – learning stalls.
  • Asleep – unaware that we are asleep – living – feel we know everything – arrogance.
  • 1st AWAKE experience – Glimpse – LIFE changing re-evaluation.
  • Post AWAKE experience – Assimilation and assessment – new understanding.
  • Post AWAKE experience –  Renewal of learning – reassessment of old knowledge.
  • Post AWAKE experience – Search for others who also understand – sharing of experience – We agree and know everything – must help the world AWAKEN – FEELING AT-ONE
  • Post AWAKE experience – ‘I have to save the world’ & ‘I am special’ AT-ONE  – I know everything
  • Post AWAKE experience – NEW information emerging within – deepening of AWAKE experience – realisation that I may not yet know everything.
  • Post AWAKE experience – withdrawing from others and the ‘mission’ to AWAKEN others.
  • Post AWAKE experience – Emergence of previous memory / realities –confusion – starting to fear the process taking place.
  • Post AWAKE experience – Fragmentation of self – I am many – who am I?
  • Post AWAKE experience – Emergence of previous memory / reality – feeling of overload / AM I dying? Which me is ME?
  • Post AWAKE experience – Trying to supress new memory / reality – feel we are going crazy.
  • Post AWAKE experience – Burying ourselves in normality – hiding from our-self – supressing the process for fear of death.
  • Post AWAKE experience – starting to feel stable again – feelings of sadness and self-betrayal for having withdrawn from our path.
  • Post AWAKE experience – realisation that we are STILL ASLEEP – losing our fear to progress.
  • Asleep – aware that we are ASLEEP – Realising that we do not know everything – no need to help the world AWAKEN – starting to come back to life.
  • ASLEEP – aware that we are ASLEEP – getting on with our lives – continuation of growth & learning.
  • ASLEEP – aware that we are ASLEEP – feeling that we are no different to others and will continue to learn – no desire to teach others anything – LIVING
  • ASLEEP – aware that we are ASLEEP – working on our own lives – faith that the world is OK as it is – feeling no need to interfere – not wanting to get involved in the mission to AWAKEN
  • ASLEEP – becoming aware of what it means to be AWAKE – not sure I want that anymore.
  • ASLEEP – aware that we are asleep – knowing we are happy to remain so – no desire to get involved beyond normal life parameters. Happy to remain in the shadows.
  • ASLEEP – aware that we are asleep – know that we will never know everything (until we do) and aware that we can’t teach anyone anything. Happy to remain asleep until it is time.
  • ASLEEP – awareness of ONE’s true purpose emerges and points towards a lifelong direction. Complete faith of destination – no longer attached to outcome. Simply enjoying ONE’S LIFE.
  • ASLEEP – aware that we are asleep – LIVING / LEARNING / HELPING when opportunity arises only. Feeling requirements moment to moment. Aiding the universe in its game. No personal involvement. DANCING.
  • Asleep – aware that we are asleep – beginning the prep for a new stage – sensing its arrival.
  • AWAKE – GAME OVER – body is no longer a requirement for most– WE KNOW WHO WE ARE.
  • PLAY – REST – This step is undefinable as it lasts for an eternity – until you have had enough.
  • See step 1.

Eternal Recurrence – or Self Perpetuating Time Loop (As I call it)

I’ve been having a slight reversal of attitude recently regarding my own contribution to spirituality in this world. I’ve spent so much time online recently and along with a wish to spend more time offline and in the real world, I came to the conclusion recently that my thoughts and contribution were not really all that necessary, given how many others clearly seem to know what is going on. I therefore withdrew and began heading back towards a regular existence with a plan to happily cease worrying about it all…unplugging the computer happily.

At the end of the day, it is very hard to be seen. It is very hard to be heard… in the vast ocean of other people’s opinions. Everyone believes they know what is going on… To say I do not feel the same would be a lie, only I don’t really use the work believe anymore.

Recently I have began to think differently to the above thoughts and have become more and more certain that withdrawal is not on the cards for me, no matter what I might want.

I am not actually offering my opinions in actual fact, as I don’t think ‘belief’ or ‘thinking’ have much to offer. Everyone is on an ever developing path and will believe different things at different times as they progress. What you believe today would have been laughed at by your former self some years ago…and so it goes on ad infinitum.

I am offering a glimpse into eternity.  I have awoken and remember my reality from the view point of all the collective memories I have now, memories which were prearranged to re-emerge within my lifetime. I can only look at them with my current mind and use them to put the pieces together. There are some conclusions which are undeniable and are not a result of my subjective thinking. They are simply a remembered fact.

Someone asked me recently how you know when memories are really your own memories and not just an implant or imagination.  I always answer the same whenever someone asks me this… do you remember waking up this morning? How can you be certain that it is truly your real memory of waking up this morning… they inevitably say, because I can remember it (of course!) and I usually say, it is the same way with memories you recover. You recognise them as your own.

The memories I have are my own memories of my own eternal life. They never change. I have been writing them down since they began to resurface in my twenties and they are still the same memories today – though they tend to grow in detail the more I look at them over time.

I realised today that the things I say are quite different to what most people say on a spiritual level though I am not alone in terms of my subject matter. Many, many religions over time have believed the things I talk about today. I simply googled ‘time repeats’ and found a multitude of different philosophers and great thinkers who have been stating this to be a real potential since time began (that we’re aware of).  It is referred to as ‘Eternal Return’ or ‘eternal recurrence.’ To name but a couple of its various titles in philosophical terms.

This is the first paragraph on Wikipedia…

Eternal return (also known as “eternal recurrence”) is a concept that the universe and all existence and energy has been recurring, and will continue to recur, in a self-similar form an infinite number of times across infinite time or space. The concept is found in Indian philosophy and in ancient Egypt and was subsequently taken up by the Pythagoreans and Stoics.

In addition, the philosophical concept of eternal recurrence was addressed by Arthur Schopenhauer. It is a purely physical concept, involving no supernatural reincarnation, but the return of beings in the same bodies. Time is viewed as being not linear but cyclical

 

This page alone contains reams and reams on the subject and I won’t discuss them all though Nietzsche was really huge on this subject and is well worth a read…This paragraph of his was often quoted by my friend whenever we discussed this subject some months before my memories came back.

…What, if some day or night a demon were to steal after you into your loneliest loneliness and say to you: ‘This life as you now live it and have lived it, you will have to live once more and innumerable times more’ … Would you not throw yourself down and gnash your teeth and curse the demon who spoke thus? Or have you once experienced a tremendous moment when you would have answered him: ‘You are a god and never have I heard anything more divine.’ [The Gay Science, §341]

I’m going to get into this subject in some depth in forth-coming posts I think but for now all I can say is this…

I know I do not have all of the answers, but I know that the life I have lived from the age of twenty one, when the universe took me literally out of my life and deliberately woke me up as well as the memories I’ve remembered from the time of my awakening which were given to me with the intention of helping others, have all came about for a reason… I know that I have no choice but to continue down this road even though it would be much easier and probably more fun for me not to do so. I was told before my incarnation that no one would believe what I was here to tell them…so its not a big deal really. I’m prepared for the failure in current time lol.

I know that in many previous cycles, the knowledge that I am here to disseminate makes me incredibly famous (about 50 years after my death lol)…sad it will have no effect on my current life cycle, which is partially why I wonder why I am bothering… then I remember. There is only one reason I fight on as I do without any real reason to, no matter how much this stuff messes up my life…

You.

At the end of the day…anyone can read, think and ponder for a few years and begin to ‘think’ they know everything… but I will go back to my original example question…

How do you know when you finally know the truth…

You just know.

It’s strange because I really am quite happy to go and spend my life working in oblivion for some random call centre, while the rest of the world increasingly runs around like a chicken without a head, wishing it had some kind of true assistance… everyone continually arguing with each other about how great each others thoughts are and how amazing their so-called gurus are… but getting no further forward.

I don’t want to be anyone’s guru… but I think that what I am here to say is somewhat different to the spiritual norm and could be genuinely be of aid to our world.

So I will continue to plod on and if anyone wishes to seek me out then I will be HERE.

…“Hi you’re speaking to Gillian today, how can I help you?” lol… if only they knew how I could really help them (giggle).

Oh well, maybe they will know in about fifty years lol.

Speak to you all again soon,

ME xxx

Twin Flame Awareness In Childhood

I grew up knowing I was different to other people. I couldn’t understand how, but the other kids always knew it too. At school they always sensed somehow that I ‘cared’ and for some reason that was always perceived as a weakness, unless they needed something, in which case it would be this sucker they would hit on.

My family had always thought me a little odd. I cried for no reason sometimes… I was 12 or 13 and sat in our sitting room one day when I was overcome by the saddest, most terrible feeling I had ever had. I sat, totally confused and overcome with grief and I simply sobbed. My mother came into the room in the middle of this and began demanding to know why I was crying. I quite honestly told her than I had no idea what was wrong with me, but I felt so sad I couldn’t describe it. She gave up asking me half way through and told me she would give me something to cry for if I didn’t stop. It was only some time later on that I would know what it was all about. My previous incarnation was in the middle of being murdered that day, since my two lives ran parallel.

For my entire childhood, I always knew something was missing from my life. There was this huge gaping hole inside of me that I didn’t understand. I used to feel sad all of the time and had no idea why or what I needed to make the pain go away. I used to stare out of windows, searching and yet not know what I was searching for.

I began to write songs at a younger age than most and they would always have haunting, sadness entwined within them.  One of the very first songs I ever wrote at about 14 years old came to me one day as I sat in the music room on break, alone and at the piano. My songs always came complete with music and lyrics at the same time… this is a portion of the lyics so you can see what I mean…

 

Where are you now? Are you near?

You could be close to me, I would not know.

When will you walk, Into my life,

And tell me how much you need me so…

Chorus

So hold me tight, just don’t let go.

I need to know, you love me so.

I need to see, just who you’ll be, when you appear and hold me near.

Just don’t let go.

 

I wrote it to the one I knew was missing from my life. I always knew he was there and I could feel him. Childhood was desolate and lonely the whole time.  I think in hindsight, I have written a musical… and have been writing the songs that would go alongside my story one day, as I was growing up lol.

Perhaps we will see ‘Forever Aflame’ – the musical sometime soon lol. Who knows?

I’ve been offered work as a ghost writer recently, and I’m still working on book two as well as working in another separate part time position in property right now. I should have a final edit of my audio book today too so hopefully that will be uploaded later on today 🙂

Life really doesn’t stop for me at the moment… that being said, I will be disappearing all of next week as I’m away to Scarborough for a long overdue holiday (my last one until September sadly). I won’t have internet access, so no blog posts sadly, but I think I’m due a break so you guys will have to get along without me lol.

Those of you with audible accounts can download my audio book from tomorrow (ish) and let me know what you think of my narration lol.

This is going to be my last post for the week as I have another article to write this weekend before I leave too.

Hope you all have a brilliant bank holiday. See you when I get back.

Love to you all,

Gillian xxx

 

 

 

Losing Your Religion? Time To Find Your Own…

At the very beginning of the time period, the universe appeared to each culture and gave them a religious philosophy that was unique to them at that time. It communicated its truth in a way which made most sense to them and took their own personal language, culture and circumstances into consideration, right down to the food that each race should or should not eat, depending on what was going on in their countries at that time.

Each race was given a different image of the universal consciousness and a different set of rules. The path was made a little difficult in various ways for each of the religions so that in some ways we would feel that we were sacrificing and showing our devotion. We were given festivals to celebrate and holidays to observe, times we could not eat certain foods, or eat at all, different days upon which to pray and observe a connection to the universe.

It left us to develop over a long period of time, throughout which we would evolve and grow. This would ensure that as a race, we developed in terms of ethics and morality. It also served another purpose, equally important. It made sure we would thrive as a race and no kill each other off entirely!

Eventually with the birth of science and the development of technology, most of the mysticism has been lost in terms of these belief systems and with it, the hold they used to have over the masses.  Our own personal faith has begun to dwindle right alongside the religions we used to hold so dear at one time. Our connection to the universe and therefore to each other has been lost for the most part.

Things upon our planet are now beginning to change. We are no longer able to find God within such ideologies which were created as a general form of connection to the divine. We require a more personal relationship and the only way that can be achieved is by taking the next step in our evolutionary process.

Within each of us resides the entire universe. This universe is like the most precious jewel. It has billions of different sides. Each side is unique, beautiful and different to every other, even though each side is a side of the same stone.

We are now capable of connecting to the universe on a fundamentally perfect level. The universe will provide us with a whole new religion all of our own, that no one else will ever be able to use or copy, there would be no point as it would not benefit them… This new belief system would be unique and solely ours. All that is required is for us to be strong enough to listen and believe in what we are told.

We need to be able to have enough faith to listen to the universe, learn what it is trying to teach us and stand on our own, in evidence to that personal truth or else we will fall down when others tell us that our personal religion is incorrect…and they will because they will not understand it.

Like all other belief systems, theirs will be different to yours. They are tailor made for those individuals that hold them. You must not permit others to pull you from your path. You must not lose faith in your own inner universe. You must let the strength of your own inner conviction hold you strong against the truths which have been given to others as they are not going to be helpful to you. Your belief system cannot be compared the belief systems of others as it does not take them personally into account, in terms of their path, experience, knowledge and means of communication.

You must go inside you and find what is unique to you. In reality, the ultimate truth boils down to this.

There is you and the universe here. Nothing more exists. This is true for each of us. We all originated from that universal energy and we will all continue on this path until we once again remember that we never separated from it to begin with lol.

Live your life with this truth as your guide and go find your way home.

Just try to remember that EVERYONE you hurt is you. EVERYONE you love is you. EVERYTHING you do to others, you are doing to you. You may not know it right now, but one day you will. Make sure you are proud of yourself when that day comes about.

Have fun guys!

Love you all,

Gillian xxx

 

 

 

Could You Let Go Of Your Life Right Now?

What would you do if you knew that the whole world was simply a dreamscape, a reanimated reality that you lived in a million years ago and kept for sheer sentimentality? Everyone you know and love is really long dead and this is simply an echo of who they once were…

In this scenario you are just getting to the point in your life that you have looked forward to since you were a child. You have suffered and slogged to get to this point and your life is about to peak…

You are about to get the man/woman you’ve longed for, the job that you’ve always wanted, the fame you have always sought and the income you always dreamed of, having spent your life striving for them all.

The universe then taps you on the shoulder and asks if you are ready to leave this world behind and go back to the land of the living, to what is actually real for you… what would your answer be?

If you are thinking…’Sure I’d go then and there, if I knew that this world was an illusion…’ then well done you. You can say with complete certainty that you are detached enough from material reality to leave this existence when your life is over. If not, you may be destined for another go around.

I do think this is an interesting question and yes it may seem as if the deck would be stacked against you in this scenario…

I have had this question posed to me for real recently.

Most nights while my body sleeps, I am semi-conscious and chatting to my higher self. He asked me recently what I wanted. This is the kind of scenario I was given though obviously not exactly this one, mine was a bit different lol …I’m using this as an example.

I just thought this was an interesting question to pose… how would you have answered?

To me, the idea that this place was just an illusion was enough to make me feel ill at the prospect of having to be reborn here. However, I know a great deal more now than I did at that point in time and I know that I love this lifetime, and all of the people I see each time. I always look forward to this lifetime the most. I love being this life and I love my family a great deal. The fact that I will soon see them all again, is usually the one thing that helps me deal with their deaths, when the time comes for me to let them go. I guess I cherish this lifetime, as painful as it is in certain parts.

I’m keeping it short today but feel free to comment if you want and tell me what you would do?

Should I stay or should I go now? …

I have to go to the studio for a long editing session today, hence the shorter length blog post.

Catch you all soon…Hopefully with an audio book in hand lol.

Have a great day guys,

Love,

Gillian xxx

 

 

 

Testing My Sanity – Should I Fear To Speak Out?

From the time that my memories began to reemerge in my late twenties, I tried in vain to tell my family about them and about what I now knew as a result of waking up. They never believed me (and still don’t). They were quite convinced that should anyone hear me, they would think I was mad. I would be locked up…

I always was a little too bold for my own good and probably one day I will fall on my arse as a result. I was much worse when I was younger especially once I woke up and remembered my true self… it was kind of like having a super power. I knew more and had more confidence in what I knew than pretty much anyone who crossed my path.  There is a huge chasm between those who know what they know and those who have studied the experiences of others or read everything they know in books.  I was always open-minded as I knew for a fact that there were many people here who were in a place way beyond where I was, but in terms of the majority of people, I was in a place all of my own lol.

I decided to test out my families theories that I would be locked up if I were ever to tell my stories to the psychiatric health care professional’s (lol). I also wanted to know how far I could go… I was also a bit bored and was stuck in a place of pain while I waited for my twin at that time, so I thought it would occupy me for a while.

At that time I was in genuine hell. To say I was depressed is an understatement of the highest order. I was a pure mess and living life was very difficult at the best of times. So, I claimed sickness benefit… This lead to absolutely tons of appointments with various psychiatrists, counsellors, doctors and panels of doctors who worked for the sickness benefit department.

I began talking to my first counsellor in a small mental health clinic and I told him everything. He was really confused and kept asking question after question for the whole eight week period before he asked me to come in the meet with the head of psychiatry in our area as he had asked for a meeting with the department heads to discuss my case and the head of the whole region had taken an interest and decided he wanted to meet me personally instead.

This guy was brilliant. We got on like a house on fire and I told him my entire story. He came up with another diagnosis but ultimately said the same thing; that he felt I simply had strange beliefs and they were nothing to do with any form of mental illness. He proposed the thought that my diagnosis should be more of a reflection on my fluctuating energy levels rather than on my thoughts as they were radical yes, but in no way insane.

On numerous occasions I was sent before panels of people for sickness benefit and happily told them all the same things I tell all of you, with no holds barred… They would happily renew my sickness benefit and kick me out as quickly as possible as I messed up their heads way too much lol.

The reason I am speaking of all of this today, is to explain why I am quite so brazen with regards to everything I tell you all on here. I have been telling any medical professional, who would listen, for quite some time now, just to see how this would all be received. I wanted to know if I would be in any danger later on, should I begin to speak about all of this.

In truth, what I found out is that I have greater confidence in the things I know, than they do in the things they are taught about science.  I freak them out and mess up their heads in a really big way, so they don’t like to play with me for too long lol.

I am not afraid of that scenario any longer.

I met only one person on my travels that had me sussed. I told her everything and spent several sessions with her before she declared me of sane mind. She told me that she felt every other doctor that I’d seen had gotten it all wrong. There was nothing wrong with me other than that I was heartbroken and that was not a mental problem. I was impressed as she was only a counsellor lol.

Sometimes…facing our fears and having faith and confidence in ourselves and our own truth, is the only way to move forward without the fear of removing the mask. It can be debilitating otherwise.

Everything in this reality is created by BELIEF.

If you believe in yourself and you know that you are powerful and perfect, then why should everyone else not see you as you do? If you are uncertain and you fear, this world will pick up on your fear and make your fears manifest. You must trust the universe and trust your path. Everything is going to play out exactly as it is meant to, so what do you have to worry about?

Love, play, have fun and remember, you are safe and you are loved. You are not alone.

Catch you all soon,

Love,

Gillian xxx