How Difficult It Is To Simply Get A Divorce!

I’m now close to 45 years old and I find I have finally come a full circle in terms of an aspect of my path.

When I was 16 I reached my first stage of enlightenment. I finally stood up in religious studies class to confront my disillusioned R.E teacher regarding my views on the piece of paper which represents marriage in our world, stating that marriage was in the heart and not in the mouth, or indeed in the pen! I told him quite bluntly that marriage was simply two people saying it was so to one another…and meaning it.

Now I face a similar situation but in reverse. I’m married but neither of us says so…

I am quite lucky. The man I am married to in the real world is an amazing person and my best friend. We completely dote on each other and always have, even though he has known from the beginning that my heart belonged to another, as any of you will know, if you have read my books.

We have not been ‘married’ in the real sense of the word for a few years now and although we look like a couple to the outside world, we are simply best friends… I guess we are more like brother and sister really. We live like a family and share custody of our cat lol while sharing a life which we both strive to make as fun as possible. We don’t ever fight, we generally agree on everything and treat each other with a high level of respect, we simply aren’t in love.

We made the decision to divorce at the beginning of the year but have so far been unable to do so as we co-own a home together. We had planned to sell it in the coming months and finally revisit the divorce issue but having had our home valued recently, it emerged that our property is worth much less than we thought and we have had to recontract to a new mortgage for the next few years rather than selling in the hope that the property market will improve by the time our tie in period is over.

I’ve been doing a lot of research to try and find a solution to this dilemma, one that would allow us to remain co-tenants (as I don’t want to go back to renting from a scummy landlord who charges twice what our current mortgage is) and that would permit us to continue to reside in the same house while also going through with a divorce finally but the options are seriously limited. Ultimately, we cannot divorce in any none-fault way.

It’s insane that in this day and age, where we could literally marry without any thought, (hell I did!… I met a complete stranger one day and married him one week later, back when I was 24! And the law let me do it… just like that!) and people write songs about getting married for something fun to do…we are held in chains without any real control over our own lives by such an archaic legal system that should have been amended years ago!

Society is changing and yet our legal system has not been amended or updated…mainly because many of the legislators are solicitors and divorce is a good chunk of their yearly earnings… The fact it still costs around £500 – £600 simply end a marriage is insanity.

Ultimately this situation has led us to decide that we will need to simply remain legally tied until / if one of us decides we require our freedom, should that situation ever arise… especially since we can’t really afford to spend that kind of money on something that is currently not required yet in any case…

I really hope the law is changed soon to bring it up to date and make divorce even remotely in keeping with the ease with which we can actually get married…but I won’t hold my breath.

In the mean time I am now putting my money where my belief has always been…

In terms of my current legal situation with the man I am married to…

Be it known… that we no longer say so! We consider ourselves to be divorced (so there!)

In terms of legality, they can see our piece of paper however which way they want!

Just having a rant.

Catch up with you guys soon,

Me x


Just Saying Hello :-)

Hey Guys 😊

Just wanted to write a brief update of what’s going on right now as I have been really ill and busy since my holiday (which is normal for me).

Unfortunately, my second audiobook is proving to be as difficult to complete as the first one and it has hit a few snags recently. We are not far off competition but I’m still not happy with it. On top of this I have decided to go a different way in terms of its release than I did with book one. I am considering a couple of other release sites at present such as ‘Author Republic’ or ‘Findaway Voices’ but will let you know what I decide. If anyone has used either of these companies, feel free to comment on how you got on as I would value the opinions right now.  Either way, I doubt it will be released before the Christmas period but we’ll see. I’m in no real hurry at the end of the day.

I’ve been pulling back from social media quite a lot recently as its starting to feel like too much of a distraction. I am starting to favour the idea of simply blogging whenever I feel like sharing something and leaving it at that. I’m also beginning the process of thinking about a new book so I really don’t want to spend too much of my time online right now.

Since I work from home, selling on ebay, my busiest time of year is coming up in the next few weeks as I attempt to sell all of the stock I’ve spent so many months acquiring, so I may well be a bit absent online for the next few weeks. I will be back soon enough 😊

Other than the above I’m trying to keep my life a little lower in key and preventing myself from stressing out for a while. It’s been such a crazy busy year. I just want to come down from the ceiling and start living in a more calming and energy producing way.

I’m about to start work on the recording of my songs, which have mainly existed in my head for most of my life. I can’t wait to get into the studio with others and start having some fun with them. I always love seeing what other musicians do with my music… I will probably just throw them all up on You Tube or the like when they are finished as I have no real desire to actually do anything with them other than this. I just don’t think it’s fair for my creations to die when I do… having never been given a chance to live.

Anyway, that’s about it for now. Just wanted to touch base and let you know that I haven’t gone anywhere…

Have a good one guys!


Gillian x

Finding Your Way In The Darkness

There are too many realities surrounding us right now. Too many people have all the answers and know which way our feet should travel. It can be a constant source of pain and unhappiness. So many people spinning you around and making you doubt yourself, your path and your process.

Facebook and all the other social platforms out there are not always healthy for you. I’m not saying that sharing the fun and the real-world pain cannot be helpful. Even exchanging of idea’s can be something a soul yearns for on its path, speaking from past lonely experiences. However, constantly looking outside of yourself for the answers among a sea of people who don’t know what they are talking about much of the time is probably not where you should seek your guidance. After all, they are all on different stages of their own journeys and the one thing that is true of all of the stages of the path, is that we usually always believe we have arrived and know everything, when this is seldom the case lol.

You and your inner feelings and thoughts are the only true guide you have. Look within yourself and stop listening to the minds of others. They are not naturally attuned to your own position on the path. You have your own inner knowing which knows exactly where you are and what you need to learn next on your journey. Logging on to social media and allowing it to make you doubt your path or point you in directions which lead away from your true north are not a good idea for your development.

There is a time and place to seek out the company of others but in my opinion, Facebook has become akin to a sea of madness. So many seekers all simply sharing their minds rubbish at every stage of their journey and ensnaring others into their own transient madness. I have spoken before about religion and I’ve said over and over again that you cannot be given the answers. This applies too to the likes of Facebook.

Switch off the computer. Clear your mind. Make sure your space is empty and organised and simply be still for a while. Others call this meditating. I simply look at it as time to process the insanity that is my ‘unreal world’. Let yourself relax and allow yourself to simply be. Your thoughts will naturally calm and empty and suddenly things will become easier to understand and process.

The one thing you must constantly remind yourself is that Only You are real. Nothing else here is real. It’s all just an illusion. Your reality and your mind are your only true guide. To place your faith in anything outside of You is to walk down the garden path to insanity. Follow your own inner guide and realise that everyone else’s reality is not your reality. We all live in our own universes.

There was a datum that I used to find useful on my path… If you bear it in mind it will help you make sense of what others are saying to you, be it kind or not…

We only ever speak to ourselves.

No matter what anyone is saying to you… they are only speaking to themselves. If they are being mean to you…take no notice as it is only themselves they are being mean to. I tend to feel sad for them as I know how they must feel about themselves on the inside. Someone who shows you love, regardless of what you have done in return… is a very strong person indeed.

Free yourself from the illusions of others and the thought that your own life can ever compare to anyone else’s. We are not truly in competition with each other. We are always alone here.

What you believe is what is true…

Be kind to yourself. Be kind to others. Walk your own path and do not worry about what others are getting up to. You know what is best for you. Trust yourself. Have faith in the universe which resides within you and enjoy your life. That is why you came here after all.

Have fun…

Oh, and if you still didn’t manage to get a free copy of my books, you have another chance to do so tomorrow…they may not change your life, but they may fill an hour or two and show you an example of a path far crazier than the one you have probably walked lol.

Have a good day people,


Me x

UNIFICATION – The Only Way To Save Us

We live on a single, solitary planet and yet so many different universes exist here. Some of us live in glistening palaces with servants, experience extravagant travel every day and every conceivable luxury. Some of us live in high rise apartment blocks and work all the hours god sends though we never have a penny to our name. Some of us live on the streets and know only cold and hunger. Some of us live in nice homes and although we will never be wealthy, we are still able to afford the odd luxury trip and sleep in a comfortable, warm bed… Some of us are home makers, some of us are missionaries, some of us are priests, bankers, princes and shop assistants…and all the billions of variations that exist in between…

Each of us has a completely different existence to the next person and no matter how poor we feel we are… there are always millions of people on the planet who experience far worse realities than ourselves every day. There is such a large divide between the richest of our population and the very poorest. There is even a vast divide between the poor and the poorest. It is amazing that so many different kinds of experience exist on one planet but it is also heart breaking and sad that the nicer realities exist at the expense of most of the more terrible realities.

We have created a world where we are expected to clamber over each other to get to the top of the human pile. We are pitted against one another for our very survival. For one of us to succeed, another must fail. It is the human ‘race’ after all.

There is only one way that all of the suffering can end. One way that the world can begin to heal and repair. There is only one way which will see us all survive. I groan inwardly at this point in my post as I know that no one wants to hear this… It is depressing and inconvenient… so my apologies in advance, but it still needs to be said.

Our world is in a free-fall right now. We can no longer fight against each other for survival. Only together, do we have any hope of surviving what is to come in the next twenty years. Trust me, if you think things are bad now… you haven’t seen anything yet.

We must….


I’ve spoken about this before. It is a subject that is never acknowledged.

The only way we survive what is about to happen…is already happening… is if we begin the process of unification

We cannot continue as we are. Our world must shift in attitude and in reality.

We can no longer be a world full of countries with their own agenda’s. We cannot see each other as ‘others’ anymore.

What I am asking requires a huge shift in the consciousness of this planet. It requires sacrifice and compassion and faith.

Let me explain this another way…

If I was to offer you a choice today…. We can save the planet and most of the people on it. We can save our species and our children’s future. All you have to do is be prepared to give up your current reality and exist in one which may see you having slightly less in some ways, than you currently do…

…Less designer clothing (Do you really need them to live anyway?)

…Less – in terms of an abundance of food (how much do you currently waste each week in any case?)

…Less in terms of eating out – food is no longer an item that can be used for fun (it won’t do your waist any harm, will it?)

To mention but a few…but there is also:

…less guilt and sadness as you enjoy a relatively luxury existence while others suffer and die in poverty and strife…

Less stress as you spend all of your life working…

More… family time…

More friends…. more love, more laughter and true interaction with others.

More appreciation of nature and beauty…

More understanding of nature and the universe and ourselves as you have more time to think.

More in terms of quality of life though you may not see how right now.

More time for creativity.


We have a vast abundance of financial resources…food resources…material resources.

We have scientists who cannot currently fix problems since their employers are preventing them from doing so as it keeps their current product prices high. We have advanced technology which is being repressed for similar reasons…

Our world is backside-foremost.

Let’s try and spell this out again…

We need to become a singular, unified planet

We need a singular (modestly paid) government whose sole purpose is to utilise our resources in a balanced fair way without any thoughts of capitalism getting in the way. Everything on this planet belongs to every one of its citizen’s. No one person should be able to acquire abundance above the general level of the other people on the planet. No one person is more important than any other person.

Just because we are born on one land mass, does not mean we have the right to claim it as our own to the exclusion of others…nor do any other landmasses have the right to prevent us from living there because we were not born in that place. We own nothing here. Nothing can come with us and nothing is truly ever ours.

Until the term ‘country’ ceases to exist as a meaning of separate entity….and a singular government is placed in charge of our planet with the sole aim of legislating and managing our global resources for the good of all… we are all utterly screwed (putting it bluntly).

A lot of land masses who are too interested in working on behalf of their own populations can never work effectively to tackle the global problems that exist in our world. Why should they? They are not their problems. It is not those people who get them elected to their nice highly paid jobs.

I don’t comment on current affairs usually. I simply sit and fume as I know my opinions have no weight anywhere and no one listens to anything I have to say. I sprout a very inconvenient truth… and I know that even those who may agree with all of this will come up with an abundance of reasons why it could never happen. That is just a convenient reality.

We have the ability to fix most of the problems that exist on our planet if only we could grow up as a race and evolve.

Capitalism has been in control of our realities and our minds for a very long time. It is about to drive us all into extinction… sadly it already is.

The monopoly game is over…will someone please throw the goddam board off the table!

The sad truth is… that no one will even consider this option until it is far too late to change the path we are on. We never learn…we go through this every time. This is not the first lifetime I have given you all this same lecture…and it won’t be the last time that you don’t bother to listen to me.

I know I will be long gone before anyone even thinks this may be a good idea. I usually am…

I just thought that for once I would talk about my views on things going on in the unreal world instead of the real one… (sorry this world is the unreal world to me lol).

Have a good day people… many, many others are paying for it… so you may as well enjoy it.


ME x

Why Can’t I Donate To Charity Today?

I am feeling seriously frustrated today…

As I told you all yesterday, I am currently temping at the North East Chamber of Commerce in Newcastle. We’ve had builders in all week ripping out one of our floors ready for its refurbishment.

One of the builders casually asked me if I wanted any desks or chairs as they were throwing the entire floor worth of furniture in a tip tomorrow.

I was aghast and spent the last few hours trying desperately to get any charity or person in need to come and save this stuff from the landfill as most of it is still in great shape and more than capable of raising some much needed money for charity or the like.

Its just impossible. I’ve been turned down by every charity I’ve called. I’ve placed adverts on Facebook and Freegle and so far, other than a single caller, I’ve heard nothing from anyone.

I’m so annoyed that in a world full of need and poverty, that all of this property is being wasted in such a disgraceful way.

Oh well, sorry guys…just needed to vent.

Catch you all later,


ME x


Current And Future Plans

I’m working as a temporary receptionist this week until Thursday for the North East Chamber of Commerce. While I hadn’t planned on doing much of anything this week in to run up to my cruise on Saturday, it’s nice to have a few spare pennies to use for necessities. This also means that Thursday and Friday will be a hectic, mad dash to get all of our packing done and the cleaning etc so that I’m ready to roll on Saturday.

In other news, my second audiobook is on hold for a while as I am really unhappy with the quality of the first recording and may need to re-record a little of it. By the time I get it sorted and accepted by Amazon, it could be weeks before its ready. I’m aiming to get it out by Christmas. There’s no hurry after all. I’m not planning to attempt any kind of advertising of my second book since it only really appeals to a limited and specialty audience. It’s lovely to have found the twin flame guys but I don’t think the subject matter is all that mainstream right now. I will however, set regular free days so those who wish to read it can do so at no cost.

I’m hoping to get back into full time employment next year and take a break from writing and audio books for a while. Really the books were simply my way of fulfilling a promise I made to myself some years ago, to write the story of my life down and set it free. I never had any desire for fame or fortune. In truth, I never expected anything I’ve written to have any real meaning to the people in the world currently. From my memories, my work in some way helps those who live about 50 years after my death… I take my memories on faith even though I can’t possibly know the ramifications of what I’ve done at this point in time. All is revealed in death…

I was planning to sell our house this coming January but we’ve decided against the idea, given the current property prices. I’m giving it another could of years to pick up instead…so I’ve got plenty of time to find a nice full time income before we get that that stage (and maybe fit in the odd cruise… I’ve been dreaming of a Canadian Autumn one recently lol)… I’ve came to the conclusion recently that my life is heading in a somewhat different direction to that which I had always believed, so there’s nothing left to do but bed down and make the most of it.

The upshot of this is that I may well be taking a slower approach to writing next year, if not taking a break all together. I tend to go through phases in my life and I think I’ve said most of what I had to say. I’m also hoping to get into a studio next year and start recording some of my songs for the sheer fun of it… Perhaps I will stick them up on You-tube or something…who knows. I’ve realised recently that there is no reason why I can’t do anything I wish to do… I will think about a third book at some point but for now, plans for that are on hold too. When the creative juices begin to flow once more I will think about it then.

This will probably be my last post for a couple of weeks as I’m going to be a little busy having fun lol.

Have fun guys and I’ll speak to you all again soon.


ME x