The True Reason Why A Twin Flame May Run Away…

I’ve been slowly becoming aware this year, that the process of a twin partner running away could have a reason beyond them simply being afraid or overwhelmed…

For seven years now my husband (sorry, I still can’t get with the program regarding calling him my twin lol) has gone away. He never said goodbye…he never claimed not to love me. He never told me to get over him and leave him alone…. Actually, he’s never ever said anything of the kind…. he simply hasn’t said…anything.

This has had the effect of forcing me to rely on nothing more than our internal communication for every kind of contact with him, from emotional to verbal… to everything else a relationship normally enjoys lol.

We all acknowledge frequently that the twin pairs are telepathic with one another among other things. They can communicate in thoughts, feelings and touch so what I’m suggesting is really quite logical. After all, if one of your senses is removed from you in your daily life, you tend to rely on the remaining senses much more; so much more that they become heightened and develop to a far greater extent.

Before my husband disappeared on me, we had one final conversation. I remember his discussing almost in passing, the fact that I was ‘there’ now and would probably never ever quit on him now, no matter what he did. Seemingly satisfied with that conclusion, he never spoke to me again lol.

It seems quite obvious really that the purpose for his disappearing on me was to force us to develop internally. It took me until the start of this year to forgive him for ‘leaving me’ as I saw it. Since January I have opened up internally to him once again and we have had a fairly constant internal relationship. He has given me his usual instructions in that manner too (I’ve pretty much ignored them mostly until recently, as I didn’t agree with them for the most part). However, he normally always gets his own way eventually lol.

He is still refusing all efforts by me to get him to speak and I’m usually pretty good but to no avail this time. He is completely behind a brick wall and he is refusing to come out.

I suppose I’m sharing this with you all in the hope that it gives you a different perspective on the negative aspect of the twin running away thing… There is a positive to every negative and perhaps this one is worth the suffering. The ability to communicate with your twin in this manner is a skill that will be more than necessary later on in the work to come. It is also the first and most vital part of union.

If you cannot merge and become one when required you will eternally suffer their loss whenever they are not with you and that feeling can be seriously debilitating. On top of this, the ability to merge means that you are a much stronger and more powerful being both together and independently of each other.

It is also a vital component of spiritual enlightenment. I won’t go into this one too deeply right now, but ultimately, we all have to take our masks off and return to our true self at some point… being able to merge is a vital part of that process (though I did all of this the wrong way around lol).

I have my final session in the studio today (I hope) and then I can finally put book two to bed just in time for my cruise to Norway 😉

Speak to you all later on,

ME xxx

Advertisements

What Is Holding You Here? – Magnetic Attraction

Do you ever feel you are reaching the end of your time here?

I feel this way almost every day now. I find myself sitting at times when I should be watching a movie at the cinema or a meal with friends…and all I can think of is how I wish I could just get up and leave…everything.

I must sound as if I’m unhappy with my life. This is not the case at all. I love my life. I’m happy and I’m settled. It is not a lack of loving my life, it is a pull towards… something else.

I can feel an ever-growing lack of affinity towards my general existence.

I yearn to be in a place where life is real; a place where I can look at the faces of those around me and know that they understand me and are the same. I’ve never really had that before.

it is more than that really…much more.

Do you ever hear a piece of angelic choral music and find yourself beginning to cry? There’s a feeling of loss you can’t understand and a yearning for something you can’t put your finger on; a sadness that is always there. After a while you push it back down and swallow it, deciding to simply get on with your day but it never goes away. It is eternally unrequited and you don’t even know how to requite it, even if you could.

I have lived with that pain, that loss for my entire life.

I have transposed it onto men and other desires but ultimately that is like drinking vinegar for a thirst. It does not help. Eventually the thirst comes back tenfold.

This feeling is a pull back towards God. It is LOVE of God…and love, fundamentally, is only attention or attraction if you will.

This world is just a distraction, a way of puling our attention from HIM. The spell works on us because we are attracted to it and therefore we pay it attention.

We remain alive in these bodies because we are magnetised to this place by way of our affinity or attention. Once that attraction or affinity begins to decrease, so too does that invisible chord that holds us firm. Our very bodies begin to weaken and ail and we begin that part of our journey which will see us flying away to pastures elsewhere.

As children, we have no awareness of anything beyond the bodies we are happily playing in. We are fully present within our bodies and have a complete pull towards the physical as we know of nothing else besides that. As we grow up and begin to regain glimpses of our true reality a yearning or pull back begins to emanate from within us. In my case, it was there from the time I was placed into sleep here. I never lost my pull back. I never wanted to be here and putting me to sleep was like placing a large stone around someone in a body of water in order to make them sink. I would not have completed my task any other way.

I keep asking you all…who do you love?

We all have a wave-length. We are attracted to that which vibrates at a similar frequency to ourselves. Look at what you are attracted to and you will gain an idea of where you are.

What do you actually want? Do you even know why you are doing what you are doing? So many of us simply walk blindly on autopilot. We don’t question, we don’t think and we choose to remain in the dark of our own free will….and then we wonder why we are so unhappy.

Is anything you do really worth anything? Is it going to last beyond your lifetime or make any true difference to those around you?

Is it all attention seeking and ego?

Why did you come here?

I came to tell you all the truth. I knew that none of you would believe me… it is not the first time I have come for this reason. It is not the first time you have not believed me. It will not be the last.

I have pointless things in this world to take care of so I must go and pay yet more attention to my make-believe world…

I can’t help but wonder sometimes though.

Why do we do this to ourselves.

Happy make-believe day people.

ME x

One Day… I Will Be Good

We spend much of our lives in the mistaken belief that one day we will change…One day we will be good. We will be the people we always intended to be…but for today, it is a little too difficult…a little too stressful. We don’t have time…We simply can’t control how things are. We don’t have the money…

Being good is far from easy. Being good takes effort and determination and honesty. There will never come a day when that changes. Being good will not simply become something we just are.

We spend much of my life under many of these misconceptions.

 

  • One day I will get around to learning how to control my temper; I will be kind to others. There is no such thing as a person who finds it easy to control their temper. We all struggle and it is always difficult… but we manage it because we care enough to put the effort in and be nice to others.

 

  • One day I will listen to the better angels of my nature rather than the demons. I will only say to others what I wish to hear them saying to me. I will be positive, encouraging and show love instead of pulling them down every chance I get because it makes me feel inadequate when they achieve things I cannot.

 

  • One day I will recycle. One more day of not being bothered to go all the way into the cupboard in order to place this piece of plastic in that box is not going to make any difference to the planet really is it?

 

  • One day I will take exercise and eat properly. I will stop abusing myself with yo-yo diets that leave me overeating and in a worse state than I was before. I will be kind to myself.

 

  • One day I will stop caring what people and my family think of me and simply be myself regardless of what they say.

 

  • One day I will stand up for the truth and stop listening to my fears…

 

  • One day I will live as if forever is much more important than a single life…

 

  • One day I will give my life to others instead of worrying only about my own needs.

 

  • One day I will see the news of people being killed and brutally murdered and I will let myself feel the pain instead of switching it off as uninteresting. I will realise that they are real human beings and it is not a movie. That real people are being abused on our planet every day, dying of hunger every day… But I’ll feel better because I liked it or commented on Facebook!

 

  • One day I will stop looking for God and realise that he was never hiding from me.

 

Being good is difficult. Being true to yourself will never be easy. It takes courage and conviction. It takes dedication. It means standing alone on a planet of ignorance and thinking for yourself, disregarding your fearful thoughts and doing what is right regardless of the consequences.

You are God. You are your own judge. You know when what you are doing is right or wrong.

If you were asked to judge yourself today as in impartial observer…what kind of person do you think you would see yourself as?

This post is not meant to be a ‘happy happy joy joy’ post. It is not meant to make you feel better about yourself. It is meant to wake you up to yourself.

Until you are able to do the above you will never be happy.

You must find a way to be the person you demand of yourself, the person your conscience wishes you to be. Only then can you truly see who you are and not be afraid when the face you see shinning back at you in the mirror turns out to be God.

Have a ‘good’ ONE people.

Love,

ME x

How To Avoid The True Damage Of Attachments

I’ve been thinking deeply about attachment today.  It occurred to me that attachments are not simply things which we hold on to, in terms of physical possessions. That’s just the stuff which is easy to let go of. Once you have mastered the physical attachments…then the real work begins.

We have many different kinds of attachments, all of which drag our minds out of the present moment and enslave us to our thoughts, pulling us out of present time over and over again. We are attached to issues, worries and past hurts; upsets which our minds cling onto like prized possessions. To be angry about something which happened a long time ago and to regurgitate it over and over, every time the subject comes up is another harmful form of attachment. It keeps the mind held on the issue and each time it is gazed upon, it releases the same angry emotions.

After a fashion the mind is a bit like a computer which starts to slow down because so many of these memory files are present within our thoughts. They act in the same way as a bad piece of programming might in a computer, causing our brains to crash or ‘hang’ after a while. They are like the gunk in your circuitry.

I’ve always had a theory that I had a limited supply of cache memory (short term memory). I have the ability to study large amounts of data which I am able to dump once its usefulness has been completed.  In terms of all these issues which are not released, the amount of cache memory available to you is reduced over time until eventually the short term memory is shot to bits and practically none existent. We must release our issues before they destroy our minds.

Think of it like this… Each memory you form in present time is usually processed each night while you are asleep and filed away in the brains long term memory banks. Whenever you fail to finish processing a file and don’t release it due to anger or unfinished issues relating to it, the brain is not able to move it from the short term memory cache into the long term memory bank. This means that over time, more and more files are stored more or less permanently in the short term memory as you have not finished dealing with those files.

Over time, more and more files are stored without order or reason in the short term memory cache until one day the brain simply runs out. Like a computer, its needs defragging. Each file needs to be looked at, dealt with  and released, ready for the mind to file it away permanently while you sleep and this is when your own will, an honest desire to rid yourself of your attachments and a shit load of meditation can truly help you.

If you are holding onto bad feeling associated with a past experience, review it, consider it, forgive it and learn what you need to from it; understand that it can’t be changed at this stage. Let it go and forget it or live with the consequences. Each of these memories will pull your attention back time and time again as the mind tries to remind you that they need to be tidied away and in so doing, you are pulled out of present time; It is ever the good housewife lol. In time, this process causes serious mental problems.

It is not for the party you hold anger / resentment / jealousy/ regret / towards that you forgive or let go, but for yourself. It will cause you so much more damage than them in the long term.

There are other types of attachments too. There is the attachment to life habits; the way we live. We all form these as we get older, for example we start to eat the same foods each day, convinced we don’t like the foods we decided to dislike earlier in our lives when in reality our taste buds change constantly as we grow older. We hold ourselves in chains by feeling the need to live our lives in exactly the same way each day… eating the same meals, dressing in the same kinds of clothing, doing the same kinds of pastimes, the same kinds of exercise, visiting the same places for walks (I’m still guilty of that one lol).

We live the same life each day, over and over, without considering doing things differently each day and evaluating everything as we go… Have you ever noticed that on holiday you are happier and live completely differently to how you would at home? You break all your patterns, eat different kinds of foods, appreciate the outdoors when you may normally feel opposed to eating even in the garden at breakfast time… we enjoy different places to that which we would normally… these are all just daft examples.

Life should be constantly new in each moment and not decided by what has gone previously. You owe it to yourself to learn how to truly be in the moment. Each day you awake, you are a new you… each day you should wake up and ask yourself – ‘Who am I today?’

This is what it means to really be alive.

Hope you are all enjoying the sunshine right now.

Speak to you all soon,

ME xxx