What Is The Point Of Living?

So many people ask me the same question over and over, whenever I talk to them of what I know.

They ask…. ‘What is the point?’

I want to try and answer this question as I see it in this post.

I have been here forever. I have always been Gillian (among other lives) and no matter how this lifetime ends…I will always be here…and I will always return.

So many religious and spiritual philosophies discuss escaping this cycle of repeated time…overcoming karma and doing everything we can so that we are not trapped here forever.

I am sure I am not the first to state a differential view… that there is no escape. This is all there is.

We go around and around and we will always go around and around…without end. This is how God exists forever… This is how we, like God…exist forever.

Before God was God….and then God became Man….and then eventually Man remembers he is God… and so becomes God once more.

God and man have a symbiotic relationship. We are …forever… by way of this process of forgetting and then remembering.

The universe is a singular entity which is born at the moment of the big bang as a child… It then continues to grow until it reaches its largest possible size. It then collapses back in on itself and the process is reset to the beginning again.

Towards the end of the life, of the universe, God begins to remember himself while incarnated as man. Man effectively awakes to his true nature and begins to remember who he truly is. This process is already well under way. As time passes, this process will quicken, ever faster until we reach a critical or tipping point. Eventually there will be silence upon the face of the earth, for there will be only me…and who would I talk to? Talking to oneself could get me locked up…by another me (lol) …sorry…ME jokes.

OK..so going back to the point of this post.

What is the point?

You tell ME?

We exist forever in the way I have just described.

I suppose the point is whatever you think it is beyond that.

Are you having fun?

It is fine to spend your life suffering in sacrifice if you think it brings you closer to God or enlightenment… but ultimately this place is Gods place to play and have fun while he waits to awaken. He is effectively dreaming…

So… If your life is dull and tired…then you are giving God a dull and tired life to remember…and trust me…he would much rather you enjoyed yourself (within reason of course!).

Move forward, grow, develop, question… walk your path… but at the very least…for God’s sake…

Have fun!

Love.

ME x

Advertisements

Its Time To Believe In Us

My world is the real world.

The outside world is the illusion.

Every day I get up and dress this body and go out to play with the other actors on this stage. I permit myself to live as they do while accepting the reality of this world, as they do.

I’d they knew my true reality (and theirs too as it happens) they would scoff and tell me that I was crazy.

In truth, I am the sane one. I am the one that knows who we are and what we are doing here. I am the one who is living the lie consciously, in order to assist the truth.

I am a loyal servant. I do as I am told even when it goes against my mind and what it believes to be sensible. I must…one day if I fail in this…those same people who scoff today will ask me why I did not do as I was meant to and stand up for reality, so that they could have awakened.

It is difficult to look at others without seeing only the ONE that I serve.

I was in a comedy club recently and I listened to a show that the audience sat and laughed at. The comedian was not funny. I say this with love. He was awake to a level of reality that he feels others do not see. He tried to crack his jokes throughout his rage dump of a show but to me I could feel that inwardly he was crying, sore and frustrated.

We were a small audience, barely a handful of people…

When everyone teemed out to go about the rest of their evening I bumped into him in the hallway as he was leaving.

I walked up to him and threw my arms around him, saying nothing more than ‘I’m so sorry.’ I just hugged him for a while. It is hard to feel what we both feel in this world.

I thought he was so brave for putting his truth out there like that in such a naked fashion.

He told me that he had to try and hammer that reality home in the hopes that it may have some impact on the world. I told him only that he was not the only one who was here for that purpose and that he needed to keep in mind that he was not alone. He seemed to cheer at that and said that it was good to know.

His performance left me feeling very sad and I couldn’t help but do as I did. I’m sure it did not affect the rest of the audience in that way.

Strangely I had won the tickets and should not have even been there. Perhaps I was placed there simply to give him a bit of encouragement, who can say. All I know is it makes me feel better to see that I am not the only one who is fighting against this mire we exist in. We all have a place in the fight…we simply need to figure out where we belong… and be brave enough to take our places there…finally.

More than ever it feels as if we are backsliding and this is what he was talking about. We are falling back on old divisions and ways which break us apart as a race. We must unite if we are to combat this backwards momentum. None of us can win this one alone. We are all on the same side.

We need to try now more than ever to continually enforce the reality that we are ONE. We are one race, one world and each of us matter equally as much as the next. No one is more important.

If we can fix this one datum in our society it will go a long way towards moving us forward spiritually.

The world is kind of a mess right now, but it can all be fixed.

I have faith. I believe in us.

Love you,

ME x

Finding Your Way In The Darkness

There are too many realities surrounding us right now. Too many people have all the answers and know which way our feet should travel. It can be a constant source of pain and unhappiness. So many people spinning you around and making you doubt yourself, your path and your process.

Facebook and all the other social platforms out there are not always healthy for you. I’m not saying that sharing the fun and the real-world pain cannot be helpful. Even exchanging of idea’s can be something a soul yearns for on its path, speaking from past lonely experiences. However, constantly looking outside of yourself for the answers among a sea of people who don’t know what they are talking about much of the time is probably not where you should seek your guidance. After all, they are all on different stages of their own journeys and the one thing that is true of all of the stages of the path, is that we usually always believe we have arrived and know everything, when this is seldom the case lol.

You and your inner feelings and thoughts are the only true guide you have. Look within yourself and stop listening to the minds of others. They are not naturally attuned to your own position on the path. You have your own inner knowing which knows exactly where you are and what you need to learn next on your journey. Logging on to social media and allowing it to make you doubt your path or point you in directions which lead away from your true north are not a good idea for your development.

There is a time and place to seek out the company of others but in my opinion, Facebook has become akin to a sea of madness. So many seekers all simply sharing their minds rubbish at every stage of their journey and ensnaring others into their own transient madness. I have spoken before about religion and I’ve said over and over again that you cannot be given the answers. This applies too to the likes of Facebook.

Switch off the computer. Clear your mind. Make sure your space is empty and organised and simply be still for a while. Others call this meditating. I simply look at it as time to process the insanity that is my ‘unreal world’. Let yourself relax and allow yourself to simply be. Your thoughts will naturally calm and empty and suddenly things will become easier to understand and process.

The one thing you must constantly remind yourself is that Only You are real. Nothing else here is real. It’s all just an illusion. Your reality and your mind are your only true guide. To place your faith in anything outside of You is to walk down the garden path to insanity. Follow your own inner guide and realise that everyone else’s reality is not your reality. We all live in our own universes.

There was a datum that I used to find useful on my path… If you bear it in mind it will help you make sense of what others are saying to you, be it kind or not…

We only ever speak to ourselves.

No matter what anyone is saying to you… they are only speaking to themselves. If they are being mean to you…take no notice as it is only themselves they are being mean to. I tend to feel sad for them as I know how they must feel about themselves on the inside. Someone who shows you love, regardless of what you have done in return… is a very strong person indeed.

Free yourself from the illusions of others and the thought that your own life can ever compare to anyone else’s. We are not truly in competition with each other. We are always alone here.

What you believe is what is true…

Be kind to yourself. Be kind to others. Walk your own path and do not worry about what others are getting up to. You know what is best for you. Trust yourself. Have faith in the universe which resides within you and enjoy your life. That is why you came here after all.

Have fun…

Oh, and if you still didn’t manage to get a free copy of my books, you have another chance to do so tomorrow…they may not change your life, but they may fill an hour or two and show you an example of a path far crazier than the one you have probably walked lol.

Have a good day people,

Love,

Me x

The True Reason Why A Twin Flame May Run Away…

I’ve been slowly becoming aware this year, that the process of a twin partner running away could have a reason beyond them simply being afraid or overwhelmed…

For seven years now my husband (sorry, I still can’t get with the program regarding calling him my twin lol) has gone away. He never said goodbye…he never claimed not to love me. He never told me to get over him and leave him alone…. Actually, he’s never ever said anything of the kind…. he simply hasn’t said…anything.

This has had the effect of forcing me to rely on nothing more than our internal communication for every kind of contact with him, from emotional to verbal… to everything else a relationship normally enjoys lol.

We all acknowledge frequently that the twin pairs are telepathic with one another among other things. They can communicate in thoughts, feelings and touch so what I’m suggesting is really quite logical. After all, if one of your senses is removed from you in your daily life, you tend to rely on the remaining senses much more; so much more that they become heightened and develop to a far greater extent.

Before my husband disappeared on me, we had one final conversation. I remember his discussing almost in passing, the fact that I was ‘there’ now and would probably never ever quit on him now, no matter what he did. Seemingly satisfied with that conclusion, he never spoke to me again lol.

It seems quite obvious really that the purpose for his disappearing on me was to force us to develop internally. It took me until the start of this year to forgive him for ‘leaving me’ as I saw it. Since January I have opened up internally to him once again and we have had a fairly constant internal relationship. He has given me his usual instructions in that manner too (I’ve pretty much ignored them mostly until recently, as I didn’t agree with them for the most part). However, he normally always gets his own way eventually lol.

He is still refusing all efforts by me to get him to speak and I’m usually pretty good but to no avail this time. He is completely behind a brick wall and he is refusing to come out.

I suppose I’m sharing this with you all in the hope that it gives you a different perspective on the negative aspect of the twin running away thing… There is a positive to every negative and perhaps this one is worth the suffering. The ability to communicate with your twin in this manner is a skill that will be more than necessary later on in the work to come. It is also the first and most vital part of union.

If you cannot merge and become one when required you will eternally suffer their loss whenever they are not with you and that feeling can be seriously debilitating. On top of this, the ability to merge means that you are a much stronger and more powerful being both together and independently of each other.

It is also a vital component of spiritual enlightenment. I won’t go into this one too deeply right now, but ultimately, we all have to take our masks off and return to our true self at some point… being able to merge is a vital part of that process (though I did all of this the wrong way around lol).

I have my final session in the studio today (I hope) and then I can finally put book two to bed just in time for my cruise to Norway 😉

Speak to you all later on,

ME xxx

How Do You Know If You’re Really A Twin… Or If You’ve Met Your Twin Flame.

There are so many people constantly asking if they are a twin… if they have met their twin. I’m not sure of the normal answers regarding this subject as I’m new to your philosophies, as you all now. I’ve been going through my own private hell this week as many of you clearly do on a regular basis. I thought I would put my feelings to some use and share my thoughts with you on this subject. These are my answers to those questions…

 

How do you know if you’re a twin flame…

 

  • You have never felt the same as others. You knew as a child you were somehow different. You were more sensitive. You cried easily, you understood things that even adults didn’t understand. You were wise beyond your years.
  • You had love of God in some way… a communication with the universe and an awareness of the consciousness that others never comprehended.
  • You love others. You always want to help them. It is your very modus operandi.
  • You hate living a lie. You would rather tell the truth.
  • You would prefer to be alone rather than stay with someone who is not the one for you.
  • Your will is incredibly strong. You don’t quit on what you want. You don’t walk away from those you love.
  • You are a miracle worker. You can move mountains and reach unexpected heights when fully motivated.
  • You are probably pretty poor and have lived a life of struggle.
  • You have been victimized, abused, bullied to a greater or lesser extent throughout your life. We never have easy lives. That is not to say we do not also have our protectors and keepers. Those who will always be there for us no matter what life throws. Such trials are to strengthen not weaken so love is given in mostly similar measure to keep us moving forward.

 

How do you know If you have met your twin flame…

 

  • It feels as if no one else on the planet exists but them (not really)… You would wish to give up your life and fly away if they were ever lost to you.
  • It feels as if only they understand the reality within which you live.
  • You no longer experience the in-love feeling with anyone else once you meet them. Say goodbye to that game…
  • It is not truly possible to let them go, even if you try to tell yourself otherwise.
  • There is nothing you would not do to remain with them.
  • If they pass away… you will probably not be far behind.
  • No amount of time will ever dull the pain or take away the need.
  • No amount of development will ever change the feeling.
  • After a lifetime of pain and torment you will still choose to do it all over just to stay with them.
  • You will always see them the same way you did on the first day you met… as if the aging process has no effect on your eyes.
  • You don’t believe they are the one… You know it. It is the thing which is most true for you in your mind. You know nothing else with such certainty as you know that.

 

I am in an endless personal struggle with my twin, or husband as I generally refer to him. He is strong willed and genuinely believes that everything he is doing is necessary. I don’t hate him though I’m pretty pissed with him right now. It feels as if he is wasting our lives. I would love to say that I have a choice in this… that I can somehow choose to find another… We are in this together, like it or not, that is the thing with us. We are tied to each other.

I’m starting to realise that the feeling of freewill is probably to blame for most of the pain. I constantly want to run away from the pain of all of this. I want to assert that I still have the right to let go and walk without him. I have not seen him in 14 years…have not spoken to him in 8 and yet I still cannot feel differently. I would if I could. It feels like a curse I am entrapped within. I no longer think I can get free of it…

So I’m going to try something I’ve never tried fully before. I’m going to give in… and stop struggling. I’m going to accept the situation even though I hate it. I’m going to sit still…

I love him. I always will and no matter what happens, I will always be his. There is nothing that can be done to change this.

On a purely romantic level, my life has been a sheer living hell for the last 17 years and it is going to remain so for the rest of my life unless he wakes up and chooses a different path.  All I can really do now is have faith in him…believe in our path and be patient until he is ready to come home.

ME x

The End Of My Twin Flame Journey

I had a major revelation today.

My spiritual husband (Kenny as I call him in my second book) does not love me and is never coming back. That’s his choice to make.

Game over…no twin flame…no path, no work to do together.

I was sad for a minute… and then I realized something really important and seriously empowering.

I can now be exactly who I am. I no longer need to worry about what is best for him, what he wants or what I should do in order to not rock the boat or keep us on a path to so-called union.

I quit. I accept that we will never be together and that it is not destined…

I can do whatever I wish to now…

Now…there is only ME to worry about. There are no more rules to follow…

Thoughts of ‘us’ have kept my energy in check for quite some time… I used to be quite a bad girl before I met him… I wonder who I’ll be now lol.

Waiting is dis-empowering to the soul. It is not a place we are comfortable. It is a place of no action and stagnation. It drains energy it does not produce it.

I am not waiting any more. I am releasing my energy now to go and be whatever…do whatever it wishes.

I have not been myself since the day I realized who he was… the day I first convinced myself that I had to wait for him…years and years before I even knew such things as twin flames existed. That was seventeen years ago…more.

I placed myself in a prison and no matter what has transpired in my life since, I have been suck there since…until now.

I thought everything depended on him acting… all this time I’ve been so dense.

At the end of the day…a game condition can only exist if two people agree to play.

I’m not playing anymore. I am going to be who I am…with or without him. I no longer need him to come back and I no longer need him to love me.

He can choose to sit in the darkness and let his life go by without finding any kind of meaning beyond the daily grind…a grind  he places himself in… so that he can feel he has contributed to us by way of earning our wealth…so that we can create the sanctuary. Like me he is never going to get anywhere that way…but that is his choice to make.

Money is only a physical manifestation of energy and we will never have true energy while we are apart. For all his knowledge, he still doesn’t see that… every time he tries to acquire wealth without me he fails.  It will always be this way for him. We were meant to do this shit together… He’s as dense as I am. I used to think that he was the intelligent one.

It’s so sad… we could have been spectacular together…such a waste.

Oh well.

I have a third book to write and finally I have the energy to get on with it.

I have one more session in the studio next week and then my next audio book – Dancing Forever Aflame – will be ready for Audible. It seems apt that my twin flame journey just ended right before the last part of that work is completed.

I hope you all enjoy it. I went through hell to write it lol.

As for Kenny…he could still get his head out of his arse and wake the hell up one day… He could come to realise as I did… that only NOW is important. Trying to create better conditions than those which currently exist is a pointless waste of time.  Who knows. We will see…

Perhaps next lifetime?

ME x

 

 

 

 

 

Living in the real world…

Hi Guys,

I’m finally back from my holidays and I would love to say the weather was great but sadly it was kind of a wet affair!

I’m a little busy right now as I’m filling in for a receptionist for a couple of weeks at a local firm. I’ll be here until next weekend so I probably won’t get a great deal of time to blog sadly…

It’s really frustrating that I have a ‘real’ life to lead and that it is the most ‘unreal’ part of my existence. It’s also ironic that it keeps me from doing what is truly ‘real’ in my life… However, my body needs to eat and pay bills, so work I shall 🙂

I’ve decided to write a third book at some point soon, when time permits about the actual communication method I used to connect with the universe once again, from the time I hit 21 years of age. I’ve realised recently, in the light of some of the correspondence I’ve been receiving, that this is probably the best way I can put my life experiences to good use. It is difficult for people to truly understand the concept of a one-to-one communication with God /the universe / whatever you wish to call it. I thought it may be helpful to describe exactly what I did and the pitfalls that can occur along the way, as many others have done before me.

In some respects, it is the work I have been leading up to for the entire year. The only reason I released my story first was because it was in fact already written and it gave me a gentle introduction into the world of being an author as well as all that entails. I now know how to put a book together, publish it expeditiously and create a matching audio book. I’ve even trained my tech guy in the process lol.

My entire ethos has never been to show people the way and have them follow me. I have always known that the only way to truly awaken is from the seeking and searching of the individual who is walking a path that is truly unique to themselves. I can’t really do much other than inspire that process by sharing what I’ve done personally. No one can be handed the truth on a silver platter. It just doesn’t work that way.

So, I’m away to answer some more phones before I get replaced with a different temp lol. It’s going to be a bit hit and miss for the next month or so as I’m away for a couple of coming weekends to enjoy what’s left of summer before I head for my cruise to Norway on 9th September.

I promise not to disappear completely though 🙂

Have a great weekend people.

Speak to you all soon,

ME x