Free Book This week!

Hi guys 🙂

I’ve had some amazing feedback from my book so far. Its lovely to hear that people are enjoying it. It is nice to finally be getting some feedback after all these months lol.

I’ve placed my kindle version of this book on Amazon for free until Friday so if you want to grab one you can read it before my next part of the story is released on 1st August.

I find it really hard to know how to market my story as it is not exactly a biography, nor is it fiction thought it is written as fiction. It’s not a twin flame story, it is my story, though it may as well be as it fits so easily. It is not a spiritual path to enlightenment story, though it may as well be as it fits there too. It could be a ghost story as my main character is a ghost… for a time at least lol. Fundamentally, it is also a love story… such a dilemma for me. There are also so many different subsections I could enter it into on Amazon! I have placed it in different ones at different times but there is nowhere that is perfect.

I’m spending about ten hours in the studio this week recording the audio version of book two and the same again next week, so if it seems I’m absent from my blog quite a lot right now, you should understand why that is 🙂

I should have the recording finished in a couple of weeks and be ready for the longest part of the process which is finally getting it through the long and arduous process of getting Amazon to accept it! As I found out recently, it takes forever to get it through the many hurdles they set in the editing process.

After that I am all done and I can blog and write to my heart’s content. It is difficult to find the time to do this right now, unless a post demands to be written, as is sometimes the case.

Speak to you all again soon, have a great day 🙂

Love,

ME xxx

Eternal Recurrence – or Self Perpetuating Time Loop (As I call it)

I’ve been having a slight reversal of attitude recently regarding my own contribution to spirituality in this world. I’ve spent so much time online recently and along with a wish to spend more time offline and in the real world, I came to the conclusion recently that my thoughts and contribution were not really all that necessary, given how many others clearly seem to know what is going on. I therefore withdrew and began heading back towards a regular existence with a plan to happily cease worrying about it all…unplugging the computer happily.

At the end of the day, it is very hard to be seen. It is very hard to be heard… in the vast ocean of other people’s opinions. Everyone believes they know what is going on… To say I do not feel the same would be a lie, only I don’t really use the work believe anymore.

Recently I have began to think differently to the above thoughts and have become more and more certain that withdrawal is not on the cards for me, no matter what I might want.

I am not actually offering my opinions in actual fact, as I don’t think ‘belief’ or ‘thinking’ have much to offer. Everyone is on an ever developing path and will believe different things at different times as they progress. What you believe today would have been laughed at by your former self some years ago…and so it goes on ad infinitum.

I am offering a glimpse into eternity.  I have awoken and remember my reality from the view point of all the collective memories I have now, memories which were prearranged to re-emerge within my lifetime. I can only look at them with my current mind and use them to put the pieces together. There are some conclusions which are undeniable and are not a result of my subjective thinking. They are simply a remembered fact.

Someone asked me recently how you know when memories are really your own memories and not just an implant or imagination.  I always answer the same whenever someone asks me this… do you remember waking up this morning? How can you be certain that it is truly your real memory of waking up this morning… they inevitably say, because I can remember it (of course!) and I usually say, it is the same way with memories you recover. You recognise them as your own.

The memories I have are my own memories of my own eternal life. They never change. I have been writing them down since they began to resurface in my twenties and they are still the same memories today – though they tend to grow in detail the more I look at them over time.

I realised today that the things I say are quite different to what most people say on a spiritual level though I am not alone in terms of my subject matter. Many, many religions over time have believed the things I talk about today. I simply googled ‘time repeats’ and found a multitude of different philosophers and great thinkers who have been stating this to be a real potential since time began (that we’re aware of).  It is referred to as ‘Eternal Return’ or ‘eternal recurrence.’ To name but a couple of its various titles in philosophical terms.

This is the first paragraph on Wikipedia…

Eternal return (also known as “eternal recurrence”) is a concept that the universe and all existence and energy has been recurring, and will continue to recur, in a self-similar form an infinite number of times across infinite time or space. The concept is found in Indian philosophy and in ancient Egypt and was subsequently taken up by the Pythagoreans and Stoics.

In addition, the philosophical concept of eternal recurrence was addressed by Arthur Schopenhauer. It is a purely physical concept, involving no supernatural reincarnation, but the return of beings in the same bodies. Time is viewed as being not linear but cyclical

 

This page alone contains reams and reams on the subject and I won’t discuss them all though Nietzsche was really huge on this subject and is well worth a read…This paragraph of his was often quoted by my friend whenever we discussed this subject some months before my memories came back.

…What, if some day or night a demon were to steal after you into your loneliest loneliness and say to you: ‘This life as you now live it and have lived it, you will have to live once more and innumerable times more’ … Would you not throw yourself down and gnash your teeth and curse the demon who spoke thus? Or have you once experienced a tremendous moment when you would have answered him: ‘You are a god and never have I heard anything more divine.’ [The Gay Science, §341]

I’m going to get into this subject in some depth in forth-coming posts I think but for now all I can say is this…

I know I do not have all of the answers, but I know that the life I have lived from the age of twenty one, when the universe took me literally out of my life and deliberately woke me up as well as the memories I’ve remembered from the time of my awakening which were given to me with the intention of helping others, have all came about for a reason… I know that I have no choice but to continue down this road even though it would be much easier and probably more fun for me not to do so. I was told before my incarnation that no one would believe what I was here to tell them…so its not a big deal really. I’m prepared for the failure in current time lol.

I know that in many previous cycles, the knowledge that I am here to disseminate makes me incredibly famous (about 50 years after my death lol)…sad it will have no effect on my current life cycle, which is partially why I wonder why I am bothering… then I remember. There is only one reason I fight on as I do without any real reason to, no matter how much this stuff messes up my life…

You.

At the end of the day…anyone can read, think and ponder for a few years and begin to ‘think’ they know everything… but I will go back to my original example question…

How do you know when you finally know the truth…

You just know.

It’s strange because I really am quite happy to go and spend my life working in oblivion for some random call centre, while the rest of the world increasingly runs around like a chicken without a head, wishing it had some kind of true assistance… everyone continually arguing with each other about how great each others thoughts are and how amazing their so-called gurus are… but getting no further forward.

I don’t want to be anyone’s guru… but I think that what I am here to say is somewhat different to the spiritual norm and could be genuinely be of aid to our world.

So I will continue to plod on and if anyone wishes to seek me out then I will be HERE.

…“Hi you’re speaking to Gillian today, how can I help you?” lol… if only they knew how I could really help them (giggle).

Oh well, maybe they will know in about fifty years lol.

Speak to you all again soon,

ME xxx

Do Ghosts Truly Exist…

I had an interesting conversation yesterday regarding belief in ghosts. I decided it may be helpful to write something on this subject today to clarify what I think regarding this subject.

To put it simply I don’t believe in ghosts at all. The idea that we can simply die and roam the earth afterwards is a silly one and belittles the idea of a conscious universe, in my opinion.

I know for a fact (from my own vantage point) that we are fully escorted to, from and during our incarnations on this planet. From the moment you register your death within your own awareness, the universe is right there with you shuffling you along your journey back up the chute to our own realm. I use this term, as the place we are truly alive is not of this universe, it is beyond it.

We exist in a separate time to this material universe. The only way we can actually exist here is to incarnate and we must be aided to achieve that experience by the universe itself. For the sake of this illustration, let’s say God – as in the whole conscious universe – is the Time master. He can rewind it, run it forward, and reanimate it for us. It is like a video tape to HIM. We exist outside of it and so cannot experience it except while incarnate; otherwise it is more like looking at a book rather than a video tape. In essence, it is a static to us.

We are effectively placed into bodies and made to see them as ourselves while our true awareness is hidden so that we can see through the eyes of the bodies we reside within. Once we are no longer in those bodies, we are no longer in the same place within the current time of the planet / reality. The only spirit or being who is capable of residing / moving objects / playing with us on any ghostly level – is the conscious universe itself. There are no other spirits here but that ONE.

Generally speaking you are alone here with only the universe as your partner. Everything you perceive and witness of a spiritual nature is just the universe helping you, nudging you in the right direction. If you are experiencing spiritual manifestation it is basically the universe telling you it’s time to start becoming aware of reality beyond this existence. Sometimes it is preparation for the end of life (which is why people close to death are suddenly able to see long-lost loved ones – they are not going mad, but simply becoming ready to leave). Sometimes it is as a form of condolence and comfort after we lose those who are close to us and feel unable to get by without some sign of their presence nearby. Sometimes it is because we are being asked to walk a spiritual path and continue our eternal development.

Our world is simply a doll house. Our bodies are the dolls and we are experiencing the life of the dolls while the universe plays Cindy and Barbie lol.

When we have had enough of living in this material universe we can move out of this doll house and into another which is a little bit more spiritual in nature and a little less base. There are many other doll houses, some much nicer than this one where the dolls are progressively more aware of who they truly are while incarnate… until eventually no more incarnations are required.

From the moment we die, we generally detach from our dolls and no longer see them as ourselves. We remember that this place is simply the doll house and the life we have just left was no more ‘us’ than the previous one or the next one (if there is another to come). We understand that those we love are always going to be OK as they are in the care of the universe in the same way that we ourselves are. In this way we are able to let go and move onto our next life. Even when we struggle to do this, it is not something we can prevent since a new ME is created with each life we incarnate into. We don’t exactly forget the pain right away but it fades into the background until the previous life is eventually submerged under the current happy existence that is the new child hood.

Anyway, I’ve digressed as I normally do lol. I think that is enough for today. I will write again soon.

Love to you all,

Gillian x

Goodbye To Groups…

I have spent four months sharing my knowledge online. Until this year I have remained in solitude with what I know, awaiting the day I would be told that it was time to share. That time came in January and I began to release my life’s work.

Everywhere I looked I was told that only Facebook and Twitter had the volumes of people required to disseminate what I knew to others… and so I began making associations and opened a Facebook account. I started spending time in the spiritual groups based online there. I came to realise recently that what I was told was not true.

I do not need either of those places to disseminate my story. I don’t need anyone to care about my books. I don’t need people to agree with me or tell me that my knowledge is true. I was not performing this service for any kind of acknowledgement or reward. I have made nothing from my work and do not expect to do so…

I am simply following my own path and doing what was asked of me when I first began to be taught by the universe. As I see it, I have now fulfilled that request and with the release of my next book, I will have told my story up until present time. I have released my thoughts within the confines of this blog for any who wish to read them. I will one day write another book, which will be my last. Until then I am happily planning to live a normal life in a very normal way.

The universe (as I have found many times before) has a way of always getting what it wants. If I am destined to create the sanctuary before I leave this incarnation, then that will happen to me… It is not something I need to chase.

I found my online life to be nothing short of a constant struggle with the huge egos of millions of people, who have been sold on the concept, that in a mass sea of ignorance, everyone has something worthy of being said and considered valid.

Do not misunderstand me. I too believe that individual reality is the only way forward for us in terms of our spiritual development. My problem arises when individuals with no real depth of spiritual understanding other than that which they have gleaned from others or learnt glibly from books, try to sell those truths to others as somehow equally valid and try to take cash from others in the process. It is one thing to attempt to help people to develop, it is quite another to take advantage of the weak minded and vulnerable.

We now find ourselves in a large ocean of voices which is translated into nothing short of vinegar for the spiritual thirst of any who may actually venture in, seeking inspiration or true guidance. We have lost our way, in trying to find our way forward together.

Spiritually, we no longer recognise those who truly have something worth listening to. Instead we are more likely to seek the council of those who wish to con us out of our money with promises of instant results, simply because such people are better at marketing their product and packaging them in pretty ribbons. We are like magpies that are easily attracted to shinning things. The truly wise people among us generally don’t care enough to do this and so are over-looked.

I have come to the conclusion that I should withdraw from all of the groups, though not the friends I have made in them. I will no longer partake in the constant childish squabbles that inevitably erupt while people are screaming to be heard above each other as really all they ever want is to be heard rather than to hear. Facebook is not helpful in its current format. It was for the above reasons that I have decided to post in my blog and remain solitary now. I have a small face book group too which I have set free though will continue to participate in if others seek me out there. I have made my Facebook page private now and will no longer be displaying who I am friends with from now onwards.

I have walked my own path for 23 years and for almost all of that time, I have not read the nonsense sold to the mass spiritual market. I create my own reality instead. It is a far more pleasant ride. I have God / my husband within and he is with me. I am lead from that place of power. I will share my work still and you are welcome to read it here. So let whoever wishes to read, come and read. To everyone else, I wish you all the best of luck in your own personal journey.

All my love,

Gillian

Twin Flame Awareness In Childhood

I grew up knowing I was different to other people. I couldn’t understand how, but the other kids always knew it too. At school they always sensed somehow that I ‘cared’ and for some reason that was always perceived as a weakness, unless they needed something, in which case it would be this sucker they would hit on.

My family had always thought me a little odd. I cried for no reason sometimes… I was 12 or 13 and sat in our sitting room one day when I was overcome by the saddest, most terrible feeling I had ever had. I sat, totally confused and overcome with grief and I simply sobbed. My mother came into the room in the middle of this and began demanding to know why I was crying. I quite honestly told her than I had no idea what was wrong with me, but I felt so sad I couldn’t describe it. She gave up asking me half way through and told me she would give me something to cry for if I didn’t stop. It was only some time later on that I would know what it was all about. My previous incarnation was in the middle of being murdered that day, since my two lives ran parallel.

For my entire childhood, I always knew something was missing from my life. There was this huge gaping hole inside of me that I didn’t understand. I used to feel sad all of the time and had no idea why or what I needed to make the pain go away. I used to stare out of windows, searching and yet not know what I was searching for.

I began to write songs at a younger age than most and they would always have haunting, sadness entwined within them.  One of the very first songs I ever wrote at about 14 years old came to me one day as I sat in the music room on break, alone and at the piano. My songs always came complete with music and lyrics at the same time… this is a portion of the lyics so you can see what I mean…

 

Where are you now? Are you near?

You could be close to me, I would not know.

When will you walk, Into my life,

And tell me how much you need me so…

Chorus

So hold me tight, just don’t let go.

I need to know, you love me so.

I need to see, just who you’ll be, when you appear and hold me near.

Just don’t let go.

 

I wrote it to the one I knew was missing from my life. I always knew he was there and I could feel him. Childhood was desolate and lonely the whole time.  I think in hindsight, I have written a musical… and have been writing the songs that would go alongside my story one day, as I was growing up lol.

Perhaps we will see ‘Forever Aflame’ – the musical sometime soon lol. Who knows?

I’ve been offered work as a ghost writer recently, and I’m still working on book two as well as working in another separate part time position in property right now. I should have a final edit of my audio book today too so hopefully that will be uploaded later on today 🙂

Life really doesn’t stop for me at the moment… that being said, I will be disappearing all of next week as I’m away to Scarborough for a long overdue holiday (my last one until September sadly). I won’t have internet access, so no blog posts sadly, but I think I’m due a break so you guys will have to get along without me lol.

Those of you with audible accounts can download my audio book from tomorrow (ish) and let me know what you think of my narration lol.

This is going to be my last post for the week as I have another article to write this weekend before I leave too.

Hope you all have a brilliant bank holiday. See you when I get back.

Love to you all,

Gillian xxx

 

 

 

Losing Your Religion? Time To Find Your Own…

At the very beginning of the time period, the universe appeared to each culture and gave them a religious philosophy that was unique to them at that time. It communicated its truth in a way which made most sense to them and took their own personal language, culture and circumstances into consideration, right down to the food that each race should or should not eat, depending on what was going on in their countries at that time.

Each race was given a different image of the universal consciousness and a different set of rules. The path was made a little difficult in various ways for each of the religions so that in some ways we would feel that we were sacrificing and showing our devotion. We were given festivals to celebrate and holidays to observe, times we could not eat certain foods, or eat at all, different days upon which to pray and observe a connection to the universe.

It left us to develop over a long period of time, throughout which we would evolve and grow. This would ensure that as a race, we developed in terms of ethics and morality. It also served another purpose, equally important. It made sure we would thrive as a race and no kill each other off entirely!

Eventually with the birth of science and the development of technology, most of the mysticism has been lost in terms of these belief systems and with it, the hold they used to have over the masses.  Our own personal faith has begun to dwindle right alongside the religions we used to hold so dear at one time. Our connection to the universe and therefore to each other has been lost for the most part.

Things upon our planet are now beginning to change. We are no longer able to find God within such ideologies which were created as a general form of connection to the divine. We require a more personal relationship and the only way that can be achieved is by taking the next step in our evolutionary process.

Within each of us resides the entire universe. This universe is like the most precious jewel. It has billions of different sides. Each side is unique, beautiful and different to every other, even though each side is a side of the same stone.

We are now capable of connecting to the universe on a fundamentally perfect level. The universe will provide us with a whole new religion all of our own, that no one else will ever be able to use or copy, there would be no point as it would not benefit them… This new belief system would be unique and solely ours. All that is required is for us to be strong enough to listen and believe in what we are told.

We need to be able to have enough faith to listen to the universe, learn what it is trying to teach us and stand on our own, in evidence to that personal truth or else we will fall down when others tell us that our personal religion is incorrect…and they will because they will not understand it.

Like all other belief systems, theirs will be different to yours. They are tailor made for those individuals that hold them. You must not permit others to pull you from your path. You must not lose faith in your own inner universe. You must let the strength of your own inner conviction hold you strong against the truths which have been given to others as they are not going to be helpful to you. Your belief system cannot be compared the belief systems of others as it does not take them personally into account, in terms of their path, experience, knowledge and means of communication.

You must go inside you and find what is unique to you. In reality, the ultimate truth boils down to this.

There is you and the universe here. Nothing more exists. This is true for each of us. We all originated from that universal energy and we will all continue on this path until we once again remember that we never separated from it to begin with lol.

Live your life with this truth as your guide and go find your way home.

Just try to remember that EVERYONE you hurt is you. EVERYONE you love is you. EVERYTHING you do to others, you are doing to you. You may not know it right now, but one day you will. Make sure you are proud of yourself when that day comes about.

Have fun guys!

Love you all,

Gillian xxx

 

 

 

Could You Let Go Of Your Life Right Now?

What would you do if you knew that the whole world was simply a dreamscape, a reanimated reality that you lived in a million years ago and kept for sheer sentimentality? Everyone you know and love is really long dead and this is simply an echo of who they once were…

In this scenario you are just getting to the point in your life that you have looked forward to since you were a child. You have suffered and slogged to get to this point and your life is about to peak…

You are about to get the man/woman you’ve longed for, the job that you’ve always wanted, the fame you have always sought and the income you always dreamed of, having spent your life striving for them all.

The universe then taps you on the shoulder and asks if you are ready to leave this world behind and go back to the land of the living, to what is actually real for you… what would your answer be?

If you are thinking…’Sure I’d go then and there, if I knew that this world was an illusion…’ then well done you. You can say with complete certainty that you are detached enough from material reality to leave this existence when your life is over. If not, you may be destined for another go around.

I do think this is an interesting question and yes it may seem as if the deck would be stacked against you in this scenario…

I have had this question posed to me for real recently.

Most nights while my body sleeps, I am semi-conscious and chatting to my higher self. He asked me recently what I wanted. This is the kind of scenario I was given though obviously not exactly this one, mine was a bit different lol …I’m using this as an example.

I just thought this was an interesting question to pose… how would you have answered?

To me, the idea that this place was just an illusion was enough to make me feel ill at the prospect of having to be reborn here. However, I know a great deal more now than I did at that point in time and I know that I love this lifetime, and all of the people I see each time. I always look forward to this lifetime the most. I love being this life and I love my family a great deal. The fact that I will soon see them all again, is usually the one thing that helps me deal with their deaths, when the time comes for me to let them go. I guess I cherish this lifetime, as painful as it is in certain parts.

I’m keeping it short today but feel free to comment if you want and tell me what you would do?

Should I stay or should I go now? …

I have to go to the studio for a long editing session today, hence the shorter length blog post.

Catch you all soon…Hopefully with an audio book in hand lol.

Have a great day guys,

Love,

Gillian xxx