Finding Your Way In The Darkness

There are too many realities surrounding us right now. Too many people have all the answers and know which way our feet should travel. It can be a constant source of pain and unhappiness. So many people spinning you around and making you doubt yourself, your path and your process.

Facebook and all the other social platforms out there are not always healthy for you. I’m not saying that sharing the fun and the real-world pain cannot be helpful. Even exchanging of idea’s can be something a soul yearns for on its path, speaking from past lonely experiences. However, constantly looking outside of yourself for the answers among a sea of people who don’t know what they are talking about much of the time is probably not where you should seek your guidance. After all, they are all on different stages of their own journeys and the one thing that is true of all of the stages of the path, is that we usually always believe we have arrived and know everything, when this is seldom the case lol.

You and your inner feelings and thoughts are the only true guide you have. Look within yourself and stop listening to the minds of others. They are not naturally attuned to your own position on the path. You have your own inner knowing which knows exactly where you are and what you need to learn next on your journey. Logging on to social media and allowing it to make you doubt your path or point you in directions which lead away from your true north are not a good idea for your development.

There is a time and place to seek out the company of others but in my opinion, Facebook has become akin to a sea of madness. So many seekers all simply sharing their minds rubbish at every stage of their journey and ensnaring others into their own transient madness. I have spoken before about religion and I’ve said over and over again that you cannot be given the answers. This applies too to the likes of Facebook.

Switch off the computer. Clear your mind. Make sure your space is empty and organised and simply be still for a while. Others call this meditating. I simply look at it as time to process the insanity that is my ‘unreal world’. Let yourself relax and allow yourself to simply be. Your thoughts will naturally calm and empty and suddenly things will become easier to understand and process.

The one thing you must constantly remind yourself is that Only You are real. Nothing else here is real. It’s all just an illusion. Your reality and your mind are your only true guide. To place your faith in anything outside of You is to walk down the garden path to insanity. Follow your own inner guide and realise that everyone else’s reality is not your reality. We all live in our own universes.

There was a datum that I used to find useful on my path… If you bear it in mind it will help you make sense of what others are saying to you, be it kind or not…

We only ever speak to ourselves.

No matter what anyone is saying to you… they are only speaking to themselves. If they are being mean to you…take no notice as it is only themselves they are being mean to. I tend to feel sad for them as I know how they must feel about themselves on the inside. Someone who shows you love, regardless of what you have done in return… is a very strong person indeed.

Free yourself from the illusions of others and the thought that your own life can ever compare to anyone else’s. We are not truly in competition with each other. We are always alone here.

What you believe is what is true…

Be kind to yourself. Be kind to others. Walk your own path and do not worry about what others are getting up to. You know what is best for you. Trust yourself. Have faith in the universe which resides within you and enjoy your life. That is why you came here after all.

Have fun…

Oh, and if you still didn’t manage to get a free copy of my books, you have another chance to do so tomorrow…they may not change your life, but they may fill an hour or two and show you an example of a path far crazier than the one you have probably walked lol.

Have a good day people,

Love,

Me x

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Twin Flame…A Spiritual Journey With A Side Order Of Agony.

I reached enlightenment (or woke up as I generally refer to it) before I knew that my husband was alive; before I knew that he was even incarnated. He led me there himself, personally from the time he began speaking to me telepathically at the age of twenty-one.

As nice as it is to have found the whole twin Flame philosophy, to have others who can understand my journey, I can’t help feeling sad for the people who have known that their twin existed from the beginning…who have met them in the flesh.

When Carl began speaking to me at the age of twenty-one, the feelings I had were so completely consuming that I would have laid down my life…actually I wished for nothing more than that; prayed to God for it every night and contemplated suicide quite often just to be with him. It was the most intensely sad and hellish experience of my life…right up until he walked into my life for real and left me without him for the next seventeen years.

Those first few years were magical and crazy. I was alone with only my husband’s voice and God for company…no one else understood. I knew I couldn’t kill myself. I loved my family too much for that and God basically told me I had a mission to be an angel (childish I know but I got what he was telling me; that I was here for more than just myself).  He would not kill me off. The pain I went through back then was so bad it is indescribable… even within the confines of my first book.

We spent the next several years working on me spiritually… he brought me back to myself and woke me up. I re-merged with the universe at the age of 25 and suddenly the pain all went away… there was only God. We were a singular consciousness and therefore the whole idea of Carl was no longer viable… it had only been God talking to me after all. It was that realisation that made me completely unprepared for the day my husband actually turned up in the flesh…probably why I never recognised him until after he left.

I’m now 44 and I’ve been walking this painful path since I was twenty-one. At times, it feels so unfair. It feels as if I’ve had more than anyone should ever have to endure… but I feel certain that if I had felt for a human being, what I felt for Carl (my perceived ghost).. it would have been so much harder to have made any spiritual progress at all. I would have focused on nothing more than getting us together; on why he had left me alone. It would have been the be-all-and-end-all for me.

In some ways, I think I had it easy, to go through the initial major part of my development with only the pain of his physical absence. I was able to fully let go and have fun here in a very abstract ‘this is not real’ kind of way with other men…knowing I could not be his until my life ended.

I have to take my hat off to anyone who has met their twin and had them walk away so that they can undergo this process alone…knowing that they are alive on the planet…. not understanding that they have walked away for their benefit. Spiritual understanding and awareness is hard enough to gain at the best of times, without having to do it all while being crucified emotionally.

All I can say is that it is only those who are called upon to carry humanity who are tested and strengthened to the extent that you are… Only pain and suffering has the effect of moving you forward and waking you up. You will be able to withstand anything by the end of this process. Never think you are not loved by the universe… You are beyond loved. You have not been abandoned… you are being lifted up and granted a gift that many others will never understand. The pain and the suffering are akin to the furnace that the sword is tempered within… moulding you into a new shape.

Don’t lose heart…literally.

Love,

ME x

How Do You Know If You’re Really A Twin… Or If You’ve Met Your Twin Flame.

There are so many people constantly asking if they are a twin… if they have met their twin. I’m not sure of the normal answers regarding this subject as I’m new to your philosophies, as you all now. I’ve been going through my own private hell this week as many of you clearly do on a regular basis. I thought I would put my feelings to some use and share my thoughts with you on this subject. These are my answers to those questions…

 

How do you know if you’re a twin flame…

 

  • You have never felt the same as others. You knew as a child you were somehow different. You were more sensitive. You cried easily, you understood things that even adults didn’t understand. You were wise beyond your years.
  • You had love of God in some way… a communication with the universe and an awareness of the consciousness that others never comprehended.
  • You love others. You always want to help them. It is your very modus operandi.
  • You hate living a lie. You would rather tell the truth.
  • You would prefer to be alone rather than stay with someone who is not the one for you.
  • Your will is incredibly strong. You don’t quit on what you want. You don’t walk away from those you love.
  • You are a miracle worker. You can move mountains and reach unexpected heights when fully motivated.
  • You are probably pretty poor and have lived a life of struggle.
  • You have been victimized, abused, bullied to a greater or lesser extent throughout your life. We never have easy lives. That is not to say we do not also have our protectors and keepers. Those who will always be there for us no matter what life throws. Such trials are to strengthen not weaken so love is given in mostly similar measure to keep us moving forward.

 

How do you know If you have met your twin flame…

 

  • It feels as if no one else on the planet exists but them (not really)… You would wish to give up your life and fly away if they were ever lost to you.
  • It feels as if only they understand the reality within which you live.
  • You no longer experience the in-love feeling with anyone else once you meet them. Say goodbye to that game…
  • It is not truly possible to let them go, even if you try to tell yourself otherwise.
  • There is nothing you would not do to remain with them.
  • If they pass away… you will probably not be far behind.
  • No amount of time will ever dull the pain or take away the need.
  • No amount of development will ever change the feeling.
  • After a lifetime of pain and torment you will still choose to do it all over just to stay with them.
  • You will always see them the same way you did on the first day you met… as if the aging process has no effect on your eyes.
  • You don’t believe they are the one… You know it. It is the thing which is most true for you in your mind. You know nothing else with such certainty as you know that.

 

I am in an endless personal struggle with my twin, or husband as I generally refer to him. He is strong willed and genuinely believes that everything he is doing is necessary. I don’t hate him though I’m pretty pissed with him right now. It feels as if he is wasting our lives. I would love to say that I have a choice in this… that I can somehow choose to find another… We are in this together, like it or not, that is the thing with us. We are tied to each other.

I’m starting to realise that the feeling of freewill is probably to blame for most of the pain. I constantly want to run away from the pain of all of this. I want to assert that I still have the right to let go and walk without him. I have not seen him in 14 years…have not spoken to him in 8 and yet I still cannot feel differently. I would if I could. It feels like a curse I am entrapped within. I no longer think I can get free of it…

So I’m going to try something I’ve never tried fully before. I’m going to give in… and stop struggling. I’m going to accept the situation even though I hate it. I’m going to sit still…

I love him. I always will and no matter what happens, I will always be his. There is nothing that can be done to change this.

On a purely romantic level, my life has been a sheer living hell for the last 17 years and it is going to remain so for the rest of my life unless he wakes up and chooses a different path.  All I can really do now is have faith in him…believe in our path and be patient until he is ready to come home.

ME x

What Is Holding You Here? – Magnetic Attraction

Do you ever feel you are reaching the end of your time here?

I feel this way almost every day now. I find myself sitting at times when I should be watching a movie at the cinema or a meal with friends…and all I can think of is how I wish I could just get up and leave…everything.

I must sound as if I’m unhappy with my life. This is not the case at all. I love my life. I’m happy and I’m settled. It is not a lack of loving my life, it is a pull towards… something else.

I can feel an ever-growing lack of affinity towards my general existence.

I yearn to be in a place where life is real; a place where I can look at the faces of those around me and know that they understand me and are the same. I’ve never really had that before.

it is more than that really…much more.

Do you ever hear a piece of angelic choral music and find yourself beginning to cry? There’s a feeling of loss you can’t understand and a yearning for something you can’t put your finger on; a sadness that is always there. After a while you push it back down and swallow it, deciding to simply get on with your day but it never goes away. It is eternally unrequited and you don’t even know how to requite it, even if you could.

I have lived with that pain, that loss for my entire life.

I have transposed it onto men and other desires but ultimately that is like drinking vinegar for a thirst. It does not help. Eventually the thirst comes back tenfold.

This feeling is a pull back towards God. It is LOVE of God…and love, fundamentally, is only attention or attraction if you will.

This world is just a distraction, a way of puling our attention from HIM. The spell works on us because we are attracted to it and therefore we pay it attention.

We remain alive in these bodies because we are magnetised to this place by way of our affinity or attention. Once that attraction or affinity begins to decrease, so too does that invisible chord that holds us firm. Our very bodies begin to weaken and ail and we begin that part of our journey which will see us flying away to pastures elsewhere.

As children, we have no awareness of anything beyond the bodies we are happily playing in. We are fully present within our bodies and have a complete pull towards the physical as we know of nothing else besides that. As we grow up and begin to regain glimpses of our true reality a yearning or pull back begins to emanate from within us. In my case, it was there from the time I was placed into sleep here. I never lost my pull back. I never wanted to be here and putting me to sleep was like placing a large stone around someone in a body of water in order to make them sink. I would not have completed my task any other way.

I keep asking you all…who do you love?

We all have a wave-length. We are attracted to that which vibrates at a similar frequency to ourselves. Look at what you are attracted to and you will gain an idea of where you are.

What do you actually want? Do you even know why you are doing what you are doing? So many of us simply walk blindly on autopilot. We don’t question, we don’t think and we choose to remain in the dark of our own free will….and then we wonder why we are so unhappy.

Is anything you do really worth anything? Is it going to last beyond your lifetime or make any true difference to those around you?

Is it all attention seeking and ego?

Why did you come here?

I came to tell you all the truth. I knew that none of you would believe me… it is not the first time I have come for this reason. It is not the first time you have not believed me. It will not be the last.

I have pointless things in this world to take care of so I must go and pay yet more attention to my make-believe world…

I can’t help but wonder sometimes though.

Why do we do this to ourselves.

Happy make-believe day people.

ME x

Living in the real world…

Hi Guys,

I’m finally back from my holidays and I would love to say the weather was great but sadly it was kind of a wet affair!

I’m a little busy right now as I’m filling in for a receptionist for a couple of weeks at a local firm. I’ll be here until next weekend so I probably won’t get a great deal of time to blog sadly…

It’s really frustrating that I have a ‘real’ life to lead and that it is the most ‘unreal’ part of my existence. It’s also ironic that it keeps me from doing what is truly ‘real’ in my life… However, my body needs to eat and pay bills, so work I shall 🙂

I’ve decided to write a third book at some point soon, when time permits about the actual communication method I used to connect with the universe once again, from the time I hit 21 years of age. I’ve realised recently, in the light of some of the correspondence I’ve been receiving, that this is probably the best way I can put my life experiences to good use. It is difficult for people to truly understand the concept of a one-to-one communication with God /the universe / whatever you wish to call it. I thought it may be helpful to describe exactly what I did and the pitfalls that can occur along the way, as many others have done before me.

In some respects, it is the work I have been leading up to for the entire year. The only reason I released my story first was because it was in fact already written and it gave me a gentle introduction into the world of being an author as well as all that entails. I now know how to put a book together, publish it expeditiously and create a matching audio book. I’ve even trained my tech guy in the process lol.

My entire ethos has never been to show people the way and have them follow me. I have always known that the only way to truly awaken is from the seeking and searching of the individual who is walking a path that is truly unique to themselves. I can’t really do much other than inspire that process by sharing what I’ve done personally. No one can be handed the truth on a silver platter. It just doesn’t work that way.

So, I’m away to answer some more phones before I get replaced with a different temp lol. It’s going to be a bit hit and miss for the next month or so as I’m away for a couple of coming weekends to enjoy what’s left of summer before I head for my cruise to Norway on 9th September.

I promise not to disappear completely though 🙂

Have a great weekend people.

Speak to you all soon,

ME x

Lets Get A Little Trippy Tonight

It always strikes me as strange, how often I look around me at all the different so-called ‘spiritual’ thoughts out there in the world and feel as if the entire planet is insane!

I know this must sound a little rich coming from me, given the stuff I come out with. However, for me, my reality and philosophy is really simple, logical and obvious. I guess the truth is always obvious once you can see it lol.

Early on in my path I was thought to think things through. It was something that was stressed over and over again, that the truth was always pretty obvious if you simply thought about it. Never let it be said that the universe does not have a sense of humour! Quite often, you can see the fun being had with us on a regular basis lol.

The truth is all around us but we don’t actually hear it, don’t think about it or assimilate it.

We are ONE…

What else can this mean but…there is only ONE of us… and that ONE is incarnated into every living being here.

I hear you saying ‘Oh yes, but just because we are all the same universal spirit, that does not mean that you are ME!’

Really…? What else does ONE mean???

This is just a daft example of what I mean.

In the bible, we are told that ‘GOD is everywhere and IN ALL THINGS!’

Somehow people hear this and think it means everywhere… except me…

Bloody hell. People can be so dense… so daft.

OK…so we are all ONE (yes, the same one) and if God is everywhere then that must mean that WE are it…wouldn’t you say?

See what I mean…really simple when you stop and think about it.

OK…so In the beginning was GOD (yes that ONE we mentioned before that we all are)…and before God ..was God… umm…what?

So logically speaking…God was Here since before the beginning…and the only way he could have been…is if he is always here…and is simply going around and around in circles…like the snake that eats its own tail.

God…is all of us (He’s keeping it secret from himself so he can experience these lives) and when he finally wakes himself up… he will repeat again from step A…ad infinitum.

Why??? I have no idea… you tell me as your guess is as good as mine. It’s fun I guess!

There… now we are all enlightened lol.

You don’t believe me yet do you. It’s a bit too much…a bit too big to believe.

Don’t worry, you will know it’s true soon enough.

Nite nite

ME x

Free Book This week!

Hi guys 🙂

I’ve had some amazing feedback from my book so far. Its lovely to hear that people are enjoying it. It is nice to finally be getting some feedback after all these months lol.

I’ve placed my kindle version of this book on Amazon for free until Friday so if you want to grab one you can read it before my next part of the story is released on 1st August.

I find it really hard to know how to market my story as it is not exactly a biography, nor is it fiction thought it is written as fiction. It’s not a twin flame story, it is my story, though it may as well be as it fits so easily. It is not a spiritual path to enlightenment story, though it may as well be as it fits there too. It could be a ghost story as my main character is a ghost… for a time at least lol. Fundamentally, it is also a love story… such a dilemma for me. There are also so many different subsections I could enter it into on Amazon! I have placed it in different ones at different times but there is nowhere that is perfect.

I’m spending about ten hours in the studio this week recording the audio version of book two and the same again next week, so if it seems I’m absent from my blog quite a lot right now, you should understand why that is 🙂

I should have the recording finished in a couple of weeks and be ready for the longest part of the process which is finally getting it through the long and arduous process of getting Amazon to accept it! As I found out recently, it takes forever to get it through the many hurdles they set in the editing process.

After that I am all done and I can blog and write to my heart’s content. It is difficult to find the time to do this right now, unless a post demands to be written, as is sometimes the case.

Speak to you all again soon, have a great day 🙂

Love,

ME xxx