Twin Flame…A Spiritual Journey With A Side Order Of Agony.

I reached enlightenment (or woke up as I generally refer to it) before I knew that my husband was alive; before I knew that he was even incarnated. He led me there himself, personally from the time he began speaking to me telepathically at the age of twenty-one.

As nice as it is to have found the whole twin Flame philosophy, to have others who can understand my journey, I can’t help feeling sad for the people who have known that their twin existed from the beginning…who have met them in the flesh.

When Carl began speaking to me at the age of twenty-one, the feelings I had were so completely consuming that I would have laid down my life…actually I wished for nothing more than that; prayed to God for it every night and contemplated suicide quite often just to be with him. It was the most intensely sad and hellish experience of my life…right up until he walked into my life for real and left me without him for the next seventeen years.

Those first few years were magical and crazy. I was alone with only my husband’s voice and God for company…no one else understood. I knew I couldn’t kill myself. I loved my family too much for that and God basically told me I had a mission to be an angel (childish I know but I got what he was telling me; that I was here for more than just myself).  He would not kill me off. The pain I went through back then was so bad it is indescribable… even within the confines of my first book.

We spent the next several years working on me spiritually… he brought me back to myself and woke me up. I re-merged with the universe at the age of 25 and suddenly the pain all went away… there was only God. We were a singular consciousness and therefore the whole idea of Carl was no longer viable… it had only been God talking to me after all. It was that realisation that made me completely unprepared for the day my husband actually turned up in the flesh…probably why I never recognised him until after he left.

I’m now 44 and I’ve been walking this painful path since I was twenty-one. At times, it feels so unfair. It feels as if I’ve had more than anyone should ever have to endure… but I feel certain that if I had felt for a human being, what I felt for Carl (my perceived ghost).. it would have been so much harder to have made any spiritual progress at all. I would have focused on nothing more than getting us together; on why he had left me alone. It would have been the be-all-and-end-all for me.

In some ways, I think I had it easy, to go through the initial major part of my development with only the pain of his physical absence. I was able to fully let go and have fun here in a very abstract ‘this is not real’ kind of way with other men…knowing I could not be his until my life ended.

I have to take my hat off to anyone who has met their twin and had them walk away so that they can undergo this process alone…knowing that they are alive on the planet…. not understanding that they have walked away for their benefit. Spiritual understanding and awareness is hard enough to gain at the best of times, without having to do it all while being crucified emotionally.

All I can say is that it is only those who are called upon to carry humanity who are tested and strengthened to the extent that you are… Only pain and suffering has the effect of moving you forward and waking you up. You will be able to withstand anything by the end of this process. Never think you are not loved by the universe… You are beyond loved. You have not been abandoned… you are being lifted up and granted a gift that many others will never understand. The pain and the suffering are akin to the furnace that the sword is tempered within… moulding you into a new shape.

Don’t lose heart…literally.

Love,

ME x

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The True Reason Why A Twin Flame May Run Away…

I’ve been slowly becoming aware this year, that the process of a twin partner running away could have a reason beyond them simply being afraid or overwhelmed…

For seven years now my husband (sorry, I still can’t get with the program regarding calling him my twin lol) has gone away. He never said goodbye…he never claimed not to love me. He never told me to get over him and leave him alone…. Actually, he’s never ever said anything of the kind…. he simply hasn’t said…anything.

This has had the effect of forcing me to rely on nothing more than our internal communication for every kind of contact with him, from emotional to verbal… to everything else a relationship normally enjoys lol.

We all acknowledge frequently that the twin pairs are telepathic with one another among other things. They can communicate in thoughts, feelings and touch so what I’m suggesting is really quite logical. After all, if one of your senses is removed from you in your daily life, you tend to rely on the remaining senses much more; so much more that they become heightened and develop to a far greater extent.

Before my husband disappeared on me, we had one final conversation. I remember his discussing almost in passing, the fact that I was ‘there’ now and would probably never ever quit on him now, no matter what he did. Seemingly satisfied with that conclusion, he never spoke to me again lol.

It seems quite obvious really that the purpose for his disappearing on me was to force us to develop internally. It took me until the start of this year to forgive him for ‘leaving me’ as I saw it. Since January I have opened up internally to him once again and we have had a fairly constant internal relationship. He has given me his usual instructions in that manner too (I’ve pretty much ignored them mostly until recently, as I didn’t agree with them for the most part). However, he normally always gets his own way eventually lol.

He is still refusing all efforts by me to get him to speak and I’m usually pretty good but to no avail this time. He is completely behind a brick wall and he is refusing to come out.

I suppose I’m sharing this with you all in the hope that it gives you a different perspective on the negative aspect of the twin running away thing… There is a positive to every negative and perhaps this one is worth the suffering. The ability to communicate with your twin in this manner is a skill that will be more than necessary later on in the work to come. It is also the first and most vital part of union.

If you cannot merge and become one when required you will eternally suffer their loss whenever they are not with you and that feeling can be seriously debilitating. On top of this, the ability to merge means that you are a much stronger and more powerful being both together and independently of each other.

It is also a vital component of spiritual enlightenment. I won’t go into this one too deeply right now, but ultimately, we all have to take our masks off and return to our true self at some point… being able to merge is a vital part of that process (though I did all of this the wrong way around lol).

I have my final session in the studio today (I hope) and then I can finally put book two to bed just in time for my cruise to Norway 😉

Speak to you all later on,

ME xxx

How Do You Know If You’re Really A Twin… Or If You’ve Met Your Twin Flame.

There are so many people constantly asking if they are a twin… if they have met their twin. I’m not sure of the normal answers regarding this subject as I’m new to your philosophies, as you all now. I’ve been going through my own private hell this week as many of you clearly do on a regular basis. I thought I would put my feelings to some use and share my thoughts with you on this subject. These are my answers to those questions…

 

How do you know if you’re a twin flame…

 

  • You have never felt the same as others. You knew as a child you were somehow different. You were more sensitive. You cried easily, you understood things that even adults didn’t understand. You were wise beyond your years.
  • You had love of God in some way… a communication with the universe and an awareness of the consciousness that others never comprehended.
  • You love others. You always want to help them. It is your very modus operandi.
  • You hate living a lie. You would rather tell the truth.
  • You would prefer to be alone rather than stay with someone who is not the one for you.
  • Your will is incredibly strong. You don’t quit on what you want. You don’t walk away from those you love.
  • You are a miracle worker. You can move mountains and reach unexpected heights when fully motivated.
  • You are probably pretty poor and have lived a life of struggle.
  • You have been victimized, abused, bullied to a greater or lesser extent throughout your life. We never have easy lives. That is not to say we do not also have our protectors and keepers. Those who will always be there for us no matter what life throws. Such trials are to strengthen not weaken so love is given in mostly similar measure to keep us moving forward.

 

How do you know If you have met your twin flame…

 

  • It feels as if no one else on the planet exists but them (not really)… You would wish to give up your life and fly away if they were ever lost to you.
  • It feels as if only they understand the reality within which you live.
  • You no longer experience the in-love feeling with anyone else once you meet them. Say goodbye to that game…
  • It is not truly possible to let them go, even if you try to tell yourself otherwise.
  • There is nothing you would not do to remain with them.
  • If they pass away… you will probably not be far behind.
  • No amount of time will ever dull the pain or take away the need.
  • No amount of development will ever change the feeling.
  • After a lifetime of pain and torment you will still choose to do it all over just to stay with them.
  • You will always see them the same way you did on the first day you met… as if the aging process has no effect on your eyes.
  • You don’t believe they are the one… You know it. It is the thing which is most true for you in your mind. You know nothing else with such certainty as you know that.

 

I am in an endless personal struggle with my twin, or husband as I generally refer to him. He is strong willed and genuinely believes that everything he is doing is necessary. I don’t hate him though I’m pretty pissed with him right now. It feels as if he is wasting our lives. I would love to say that I have a choice in this… that I can somehow choose to find another… We are in this together, like it or not, that is the thing with us. We are tied to each other.

I’m starting to realise that the feeling of freewill is probably to blame for most of the pain. I constantly want to run away from the pain of all of this. I want to assert that I still have the right to let go and walk without him. I have not seen him in 14 years…have not spoken to him in 8 and yet I still cannot feel differently. I would if I could. It feels like a curse I am entrapped within. I no longer think I can get free of it…

So I’m going to try something I’ve never tried fully before. I’m going to give in… and stop struggling. I’m going to accept the situation even though I hate it. I’m going to sit still…

I love him. I always will and no matter what happens, I will always be his. There is nothing that can be done to change this.

On a purely romantic level, my life has been a sheer living hell for the last 17 years and it is going to remain so for the rest of my life unless he wakes up and chooses a different path.  All I can really do now is have faith in him…believe in our path and be patient until he is ready to come home.

ME x

The Stages of Enlightenment / Waking Up

I’ve been seeing some really sad exchanges on Facebook recently regarding belief and enlightenment. I think there are so many stages of the path where people innately feel that they know everything and have the desire to teach and assist. This inevitably leads to conflict with those who are still growing.

We are all eternally progressing and growing, no matter where we might think we are and as such, we will always have differing points of view to each other. I feel that the aim of the game, if we are ever to move forward as a race, is to understand this as a fact and accept it so that we can eternally disagree while keeping with the spirit of progression.

We are meant to disagree with each other. We are meant to love each other despite this. There are always going to be those who cannot wrap their heads around this and won’t play nice with others, those who cannot be respectful and to all of you I would suggest this…kick them out until they learn to be respectful to others. Respect and love must be a two way thing. They cannot expect it from us if they are not capable of giving it. Let them in when they learn to be responsible human beings lol.

In the meantime… this is a work in progress. This is the generalised stages of the PATH.

It is only a guide and is not meant to be exhaustive.

I will maybe fine tune it at a later date… just note how many times on it we believe (quite genuinely) that we know everything. This being the case… don’t worry about convincing each other. Don’t worry if others disagree… just play nice and support each other no matter what you all think. We are all on the same path.

Have a good one people.

Love you all,

Gillian xxx

 

  • Asleep – unaware that we are asleep.
  • Asleep – unaware that we are asleep – but realising there is knowledge we don’t know.
  • Asleep – unaware that we are asleep – learning – humble.
  • Asleep – unaware that we are asleep – learning – feel we know everything.
  • Asleep – unaware that we are asleep – living – feel we know everything – learning stalls.
  • Asleep – unaware that we are asleep – living – feel we know everything – arrogance.
  • 1st AWAKE experience – Glimpse – LIFE changing re-evaluation.
  • Post AWAKE experience – Assimilation and assessment – new understanding.
  • Post AWAKE experience –  Renewal of learning – reassessment of old knowledge.
  • Post AWAKE experience – Search for others who also understand – sharing of experience – We agree and know everything – must help the world AWAKEN – FEELING AT-ONE
  • Post AWAKE experience – ‘I have to save the world’ & ‘I am special’ AT-ONE  – I know everything
  • Post AWAKE experience – NEW information emerging within – deepening of AWAKE experience – realisation that I may not yet know everything.
  • Post AWAKE experience – withdrawing from others and the ‘mission’ to AWAKEN others.
  • Post AWAKE experience – Emergence of previous memory / realities –confusion – starting to fear the process taking place.
  • Post AWAKE experience – Fragmentation of self – I am many – who am I?
  • Post AWAKE experience – Emergence of previous memory / reality – feeling of overload / AM I dying? Which me is ME?
  • Post AWAKE experience – Trying to supress new memory / reality – feel we are going crazy.
  • Post AWAKE experience – Burying ourselves in normality – hiding from our-self – supressing the process for fear of death.
  • Post AWAKE experience – starting to feel stable again – feelings of sadness and self-betrayal for having withdrawn from our path.
  • Post AWAKE experience – realisation that we are STILL ASLEEP – losing our fear to progress.
  • Asleep – aware that we are ASLEEP – Realising that we do not know everything – no need to help the world AWAKEN – starting to come back to life.
  • ASLEEP – aware that we are ASLEEP – getting on with our lives – continuation of growth & learning.
  • ASLEEP – aware that we are ASLEEP – feeling that we are no different to others and will continue to learn – no desire to teach others anything – LIVING
  • ASLEEP – aware that we are ASLEEP – working on our own lives – faith that the world is OK as it is – feeling no need to interfere – not wanting to get involved in the mission to AWAKEN
  • ASLEEP – becoming aware of what it means to be AWAKE – not sure I want that anymore.
  • ASLEEP – aware that we are asleep – knowing we are happy to remain so – no desire to get involved beyond normal life parameters. Happy to remain in the shadows.
  • ASLEEP – aware that we are asleep – know that we will never know everything (until we do) and aware that we can’t teach anyone anything. Happy to remain asleep until it is time.
  • ASLEEP – awareness of ONE’s true purpose emerges and points towards a lifelong direction. Complete faith of destination – no longer attached to outcome. Simply enjoying ONE’S LIFE.
  • ASLEEP – aware that we are asleep – LIVING / LEARNING / HELPING when opportunity arises only. Feeling requirements moment to moment. Aiding the universe in its game. No personal involvement. DANCING.
  • Asleep – aware that we are asleep – beginning the prep for a new stage – sensing its arrival.
  • AWAKE – GAME OVER – body is no longer a requirement for most– WE KNOW WHO WE ARE.
  • PLAY – REST – This step is undefinable as it lasts for an eternity – until you have had enough.
  • See step 1.

Eternal Recurrence – or Self Perpetuating Time Loop (As I call it)

I’ve been having a slight reversal of attitude recently regarding my own contribution to spirituality in this world. I’ve spent so much time online recently and along with a wish to spend more time offline and in the real world, I came to the conclusion recently that my thoughts and contribution were not really all that necessary, given how many others clearly seem to know what is going on. I therefore withdrew and began heading back towards a regular existence with a plan to happily cease worrying about it all…unplugging the computer happily.

At the end of the day, it is very hard to be seen. It is very hard to be heard… in the vast ocean of other people’s opinions. Everyone believes they know what is going on… To say I do not feel the same would be a lie, only I don’t really use the work believe anymore.

Recently I have began to think differently to the above thoughts and have become more and more certain that withdrawal is not on the cards for me, no matter what I might want.

I am not actually offering my opinions in actual fact, as I don’t think ‘belief’ or ‘thinking’ have much to offer. Everyone is on an ever developing path and will believe different things at different times as they progress. What you believe today would have been laughed at by your former self some years ago…and so it goes on ad infinitum.

I am offering a glimpse into eternity.  I have awoken and remember my reality from the view point of all the collective memories I have now, memories which were prearranged to re-emerge within my lifetime. I can only look at them with my current mind and use them to put the pieces together. There are some conclusions which are undeniable and are not a result of my subjective thinking. They are simply a remembered fact.

Someone asked me recently how you know when memories are really your own memories and not just an implant or imagination.  I always answer the same whenever someone asks me this… do you remember waking up this morning? How can you be certain that it is truly your real memory of waking up this morning… they inevitably say, because I can remember it (of course!) and I usually say, it is the same way with memories you recover. You recognise them as your own.

The memories I have are my own memories of my own eternal life. They never change. I have been writing them down since they began to resurface in my twenties and they are still the same memories today – though they tend to grow in detail the more I look at them over time.

I realised today that the things I say are quite different to what most people say on a spiritual level though I am not alone in terms of my subject matter. Many, many religions over time have believed the things I talk about today. I simply googled ‘time repeats’ and found a multitude of different philosophers and great thinkers who have been stating this to be a real potential since time began (that we’re aware of).  It is referred to as ‘Eternal Return’ or ‘eternal recurrence.’ To name but a couple of its various titles in philosophical terms.

This is the first paragraph on Wikipedia…

Eternal return (also known as “eternal recurrence”) is a concept that the universe and all existence and energy has been recurring, and will continue to recur, in a self-similar form an infinite number of times across infinite time or space. The concept is found in Indian philosophy and in ancient Egypt and was subsequently taken up by the Pythagoreans and Stoics.

In addition, the philosophical concept of eternal recurrence was addressed by Arthur Schopenhauer. It is a purely physical concept, involving no supernatural reincarnation, but the return of beings in the same bodies. Time is viewed as being not linear but cyclical

 

This page alone contains reams and reams on the subject and I won’t discuss them all though Nietzsche was really huge on this subject and is well worth a read…This paragraph of his was often quoted by my friend whenever we discussed this subject some months before my memories came back.

…What, if some day or night a demon were to steal after you into your loneliest loneliness and say to you: ‘This life as you now live it and have lived it, you will have to live once more and innumerable times more’ … Would you not throw yourself down and gnash your teeth and curse the demon who spoke thus? Or have you once experienced a tremendous moment when you would have answered him: ‘You are a god and never have I heard anything more divine.’ [The Gay Science, §341]

I’m going to get into this subject in some depth in forth-coming posts I think but for now all I can say is this…

I know I do not have all of the answers, but I know that the life I have lived from the age of twenty one, when the universe took me literally out of my life and deliberately woke me up as well as the memories I’ve remembered from the time of my awakening which were given to me with the intention of helping others, have all came about for a reason… I know that I have no choice but to continue down this road even though it would be much easier and probably more fun for me not to do so. I was told before my incarnation that no one would believe what I was here to tell them…so its not a big deal really. I’m prepared for the failure in current time lol.

I know that in many previous cycles, the knowledge that I am here to disseminate makes me incredibly famous (about 50 years after my death lol)…sad it will have no effect on my current life cycle, which is partially why I wonder why I am bothering… then I remember. There is only one reason I fight on as I do without any real reason to, no matter how much this stuff messes up my life…

You.

At the end of the day…anyone can read, think and ponder for a few years and begin to ‘think’ they know everything… but I will go back to my original example question…

How do you know when you finally know the truth…

You just know.

It’s strange because I really am quite happy to go and spend my life working in oblivion for some random call centre, while the rest of the world increasingly runs around like a chicken without a head, wishing it had some kind of true assistance… everyone continually arguing with each other about how great each others thoughts are and how amazing their so-called gurus are… but getting no further forward.

I don’t want to be anyone’s guru… but I think that what I am here to say is somewhat different to the spiritual norm and could be genuinely be of aid to our world.

So I will continue to plod on and if anyone wishes to seek me out then I will be HERE.

…“Hi you’re speaking to Gillian today, how can I help you?” lol… if only they knew how I could really help them (giggle).

Oh well, maybe they will know in about fifty years lol.

Speak to you all again soon,

ME xxx

Time To Retreat… From Facebook?

I have just returned from a lovely week in Scarborough where I was finally able to rest a little and recoup some of the energy I have expended over recent months, since the release of my first book. It was lovely to simply unplug and switch off mentally for a while. I did a great deal of thinking and soul searching while I was away and came to some very serious conclusions.

I have been so much happier for the last week. I’ve been less stressed and had more energy, better sleep and more time to do the things I had to do. Over the next three months I will be busy finishing my second book, ready to publish in August. So far this year I have had no time to work on it as I have been busy recording the first audiobook (Still haven’t heard anything from Amazon…should be any day now hopefully)… and I’ve been stuck on Facebook and blogging most of the time lol.

It’s now a little scary that I have three months left to finish book two, record the next audio book and get myself ready for the next release date. I have also been offered some part time writing work, which is keeping my tied to the laptop to an even greater extent right now.

Upon my return, I had already came to the conclusion that I needed to cut my blog posts down to one or two per week and spend a lot less time on Facebook for my own sanity lol. I returned with these intentions before I checked in on everything yesterday. I found that two of the people I had begun to form friendships with on their have had lots of struggles over the last week in relation to internet trolls and people who happily use that medium to hurt one another.

I felt sad for them as I know what it is like to experience those things. People like that forget that they are dealing with real live people and not simply with some robot on the other side of a computer screen. They have feelings and are hurt exactly as they are…

On top of that, I think we all tend to forget that Facebook (as large as it is) and the communities we have formed on there are not the be-all and end-all. They are not the whole world. They are a very small part of it…and in spending all of our time on there; the world becomes incredibly small in our minds. I for one… am taking a step away now. I have much better things to do than argue with people who are really only there to entertain themselves while hurting others.

On top of this, while I think it’s great to exchange views and promote growth in the spiritual groups, I think the spiritual groups on Facebook have a few fatal flaws which probably block growth.

  • They choose a single subject matter – exclude all other subjects of a similar nature and decide they know everything that relates to it… no more discussion, objection, development or deliberation is permitted.

In my experience, most groups / philosophies have a shred of the truth held within them. A tiny part of the bigger picture…They are far from having perfect understanding of the universe or the reality we live in. The universe is a power beyond our imagining and it is more than capable of keeping the whole truth shielded from us all, and has for a very long time, even those who appear to be enlightened and seem to be the guides of our world.

I was told recently that I couldn’t post articles on reincarnation in a certain spiritual group as it was outside the parameters of their discussions. That to me sounded utterly ridiculous. If you are a spiritual forum, then that covers anything which takes place within the parameters of spirituality, within which reincarnation most certainly would fit. Spirituality is a huge subject. You can’t discuss twin flames without discussing a spiritual path and eventual enlightenment. You can’t discuss all of that and shun discussion on reincarnation… all of these subjects are part of the same larger reality… to mention but a few.

I tend to fit into all of the above places as my story spans multiple groups. If you have a full understanding and have experienced many different aspects of spirituality, then you understand that one subject is not able to be discussed in such a fragmented fashion. One subject will naturally lead into others. It is a form of fear to eject individuals without warning because they are encroaching on subjects which you understand nothing about…but this is how such groups are dealing with this issue.

 

  • They do not remove the abusive individuals (this is an occasional problem) who clearly have no inclination of working with others and are simply there to create discord.

In my recent experiences in one of the groups on Facebook I came face to face with three of the most disgusting and abusive people I’ve ever engaged with on there in my relatively short time back in social, spiritual circles. I do not expect or desire that everyone will understand what I speak about, or agree with any or all of it, but I do hope that at the very least people will recognise others to be human beings and treat them with the respect that this deserves. These people were appalling and cruel and I’m sure they won’t be the last such people I come across. They made everything that group was trying to do, redundant and worthless in one discussion.

 

  • They do not allow people to post links to blog posts or advertise their own work

What purpose do such groups provide other than the promotion of the people who set them up? I really think there needs to be a shift on the net towards group co-operation and discussion with a view to actual development.

Most of us are developing by way of our own work and studies. We all have a tale to tell but this doesn’t mean that this work is the only reason we are telling it.

If we are so frightened to allow others to talk about their paths in our groups, for fear it may show up just how little we ourselves actually know, then we should not have groups at all.

 

  • Then there’s the Mems

Memes… they are turning a lot of people off spiritual things. There are so many of them on the various spiritual sites and they have become a bit too ubiquitous. They no longer inspire, they simply give our friend J.P Sears a bit more material!

It feels as if such pretty and yet redundant quotes do little to actually help people gain a better quality of life, they have no real baring on the real world at all… but lend themselves to a lot of likes and much gratuitous hi-fiving!

Perhaps we have all fallen asleep a bit spiritually on Facebook. I hope that this is food for thought.

In the mean time… as I stated earlier. I have a great deal of work to do. I really don’t have much time to myself at the moment. So for that reason you will all be seeing a little less of me from now on. I will probably limit my posts to a couple per week from now onwards and will post a link in my Facebook sites online. If people wish to share them, they are more than welcome to do so.

I will still be around and will poke my head in when time permits but until August, my time is really precious and Facebook is becoming a bit more of a toxic environment than a place of growth and peace. Hopefully this will change by the time I have the time to come back. Catch you all soon.

Have a good one,

Love,

Gillian x

Twin Flame Awareness In Childhood

I grew up knowing I was different to other people. I couldn’t understand how, but the other kids always knew it too. At school they always sensed somehow that I ‘cared’ and for some reason that was always perceived as a weakness, unless they needed something, in which case it would be this sucker they would hit on.

My family had always thought me a little odd. I cried for no reason sometimes… I was 12 or 13 and sat in our sitting room one day when I was overcome by the saddest, most terrible feeling I had ever had. I sat, totally confused and overcome with grief and I simply sobbed. My mother came into the room in the middle of this and began demanding to know why I was crying. I quite honestly told her than I had no idea what was wrong with me, but I felt so sad I couldn’t describe it. She gave up asking me half way through and told me she would give me something to cry for if I didn’t stop. It was only some time later on that I would know what it was all about. My previous incarnation was in the middle of being murdered that day, since my two lives ran parallel.

For my entire childhood, I always knew something was missing from my life. There was this huge gaping hole inside of me that I didn’t understand. I used to feel sad all of the time and had no idea why or what I needed to make the pain go away. I used to stare out of windows, searching and yet not know what I was searching for.

I began to write songs at a younger age than most and they would always have haunting, sadness entwined within them.  One of the very first songs I ever wrote at about 14 years old came to me one day as I sat in the music room on break, alone and at the piano. My songs always came complete with music and lyrics at the same time… this is a portion of the lyics so you can see what I mean…

 

Where are you now? Are you near?

You could be close to me, I would not know.

When will you walk, Into my life,

And tell me how much you need me so…

Chorus

So hold me tight, just don’t let go.

I need to know, you love me so.

I need to see, just who you’ll be, when you appear and hold me near.

Just don’t let go.

 

I wrote it to the one I knew was missing from my life. I always knew he was there and I could feel him. Childhood was desolate and lonely the whole time.  I think in hindsight, I have written a musical… and have been writing the songs that would go alongside my story one day, as I was growing up lol.

Perhaps we will see ‘Forever Aflame’ – the musical sometime soon lol. Who knows?

I’ve been offered work as a ghost writer recently, and I’m still working on book two as well as working in another separate part time position in property right now. I should have a final edit of my audio book today too so hopefully that will be uploaded later on today 🙂

Life really doesn’t stop for me at the moment… that being said, I will be disappearing all of next week as I’m away to Scarborough for a long overdue holiday (my last one until September sadly). I won’t have internet access, so no blog posts sadly, but I think I’m due a break so you guys will have to get along without me lol.

Those of you with audible accounts can download my audio book from tomorrow (ish) and let me know what you think of my narration lol.

This is going to be my last post for the week as I have another article to write this weekend before I leave too.

Hope you all have a brilliant bank holiday. See you when I get back.

Love to you all,

Gillian xxx