Lets Get A Little Trippy Tonight

It always strikes me as strange, how often I look around me at all the different so-called ‘spiritual’ thoughts out there in the world and feel as if the entire planet is insane!

I know this must sound a little rich coming from me, given the stuff I come out with. However, for me, my reality and philosophy is really simple, logical and obvious. I guess the truth is always obvious once you can see it lol.

Early on in my path I was thought to think things through. It was something that was stressed over and over again, that the truth was always pretty obvious if you simply thought about it. Never let it be said that the universe does not have a sense of humour! Quite often, you can see the fun being had with us on a regular basis lol.

The truth is all around us but we don’t actually hear it, don’t think about it or assimilate it.

We are ONE…

What else can this mean but…there is only ONE of us… and that ONE is incarnated into every living being here.

I hear you saying ‘Oh yes, but just because we are all the same universal spirit, that does not mean that you are ME!’

Really…? What else does ONE mean???

This is just a daft example of what I mean.

In the bible, we are told that ‘GOD is everywhere and IN ALL THINGS!’

Somehow people hear this and think it means everywhere… except me…

Bloody hell. People can be so dense… so daft.

OK…so we are all ONE (yes, the same one) and if God is everywhere then that must mean that WE are it…wouldn’t you say?

See what I mean…really simple when you stop and think about it.

OK…so In the beginning was GOD (yes that ONE we mentioned before that we all are)…and before God ..was God… umm…what?

So logically speaking…God was Here since before the beginning…and the only way he could have been…is if he is always here…and is simply going around and around in circles…like the snake that eats its own tail.

God…is all of us (He’s keeping it secret from himself so he can experience these lives) and when he finally wakes himself up… he will repeat again from step A…ad infinitum.

Why??? I have no idea… you tell me as your guess is as good as mine. It’s fun I guess!

There… now we are all enlightened lol.

You don’t believe me yet do you. It’s a bit too much…a bit too big to believe.

Don’t worry, you will know it’s true soon enough.

Nite nite

ME x

Going Beyond Race, Gender & Sexual Equality

I had no intention of blogging again today but something worth noting sprang to mind as I was looking through the news today.

I generally don’t get involved in opinions of social matters. To be frank, I don’t actually care, not enough to get down in the dirt and raise my voice enough to be heard above the din that is social media and the endless sea of ego’s contained therein. I would like to, but it would be disingenuous. My views are just nuanced, which is why I don’t get involved. I get a little annoyed but only because I am a little beyond the current level of argument out there.

For example, the race issue. I don’t get involved one way or another and it isn’t because I don’t believe in race equality, it is for exactly that reason that I don’t get involved. I know you are probably shaking your head right now and saying ‘eh?’ so let me try to explain this a bit better.

I think that we are currently always favoring one race over another in our efforts to favor another race more than we presently do. By trying to be fairer to people who are black, or who are disabled or who are women, we discriminate against everyone who does not fall into those categories. It is a little like a pendulum, always swinging to one extreme or another when where it really needs to be is in the center. It simply never gets there.

While I agree there are large discrepancies in the way in which certain groups of people are currently treated by society, I still feel that for me, I simply see people as people. I don’t see white, black, Asian, Muslim, Christian, Hindu, Men, Women, old, young….

I just see people.

I don’t like political correctness and in my own view of the world, this process has gone a little crazy right now. We have lost our common sense to a large extent.

I yearn for a world where the issues of Black, Gender, Race, belief etc, are never ever mentioned… a world where we have moved into simply seeing ourselves as a single race, no matter which sex, race or gender could be used to define us.

What we are should not be important when it comes to describing ourselves. It should not count in terms of other people’s view of us relating to work or treatment generally.

All that matters in the grand scheme of things, is what we do. That should be the only estimation of our character and the only thing which truly effects others treatment of us in our daily lives.

I know many will be thinking…if only we lived in a perfect world we could hope for this but for now there is still much work to do. I would agree with that sentiment; however, I think we all have our own causes to peruse and there are so many in this world. I have chosen to work to prepare the world for what will come next after this lifetime as that is where my heart and my passion lies. We all need to follow our path and go where we are called. This is mine.

Have a good one guys 😊

Love,

Me x

What’s The Name Of The Game?

I’ve had a reoccurring conversation with a friend of mine for a number of years that I thought I’d share with you all today. I have to admit that my position has changed since we began discussing this one.

If you believe, as I did, in free will and hate the idea of cyclical time or the self-perpetuating time loop as I usually refer to it then you still believe it is possible to win in this world; to have all of your dreams come true and die at the end, feeling you have lived an amazing life.

I never stop trying to win this game. To me, I can always be the star of my own show and when I have down days I just fight harder, determined to win before I leave…

Then there is the other scenario which states that time is a circle which ever repeats in exactly the same way which equates to free will being somewhat of a myth or an illusion. In this scenario, your life is on a path all of its own and ever will be. There is no fixing it, changing it… if you win in your own eyes, it is simply due to destiny. If you lose then that too is down to destiny.

My friend was always certain that life repeated in the same way each time. In my own case I have my memories to refer to… before this life began I was told by my guardian…

“You will remember every cycle except the one you are incarnated into…”

To me this implies that the universe is capable of choosing a cycle which is more subtly apt for whatever place in our path we are…unless of course he is right and all of our lives are static, in which case we would always be in the same place each time and therefore our path would always be perfect for us at every step of the way…(head do isn’t it lol).

If I was to try and describe what I remember in terms of Gods own path… he has basically used every life as a puzzle and has gone round and round and round each life, infinitely. Each time he has tweaked the lives until they all led to the destination he wished them all to go.

In terms of my own life… he wanted Gillian to be a doorway… a life which would awaken and find its way back to reality while incarnate. I guess she’s a bit like the final level of a video game…  If and when a separate perceiving part of himself wishes to awaken (as I did after my last lifetime), they are incarnated as Gillian or another similar life that achieves the same thing.

I can remember many arguments between my lower self and my higher self where I am being told,

“I want to keep you with me, but if you don’t wake up this time you will die and I will never be you again.” At the time I always thought I was telling myself that I was being killed off, but that was never what he meant. He was saying that only one version of my existence would be the permanent one since to change any decision or experience would create an entirely different Gillian… I’m probably losing all of you now I’m sure lol.

It occurred to me today that the concept of winning or losing is rather mute now. How I judge myself to have won or lost is no longer the true yardstick.

In reality, winning is now a concept I must forget. In order to truly win, all I have to do is stop struggling and live my life as I live it, trusting fate. I can try my best but ultimately my own ideas of winning and losing are an inaccurate way of perceiving my life.

I am here to play a part and that part may not involve wealth, love or a family. It may not involve any of the things I wish for myself. It may involve pain, struggle, failure and death (well, yes obviously, at some point I hear you say lol).

Winning is actually a given now. I will win no matter what I do or don’t do. There’s no more need to worry about anything but the present moment as only that can be real for me now. Yesterday is as much an illusion as tomorrow was. Neither of them are in my hands…all I can do is enjoy the ride since the horse is not mine lol… It has its own destination and it is not going where I wish it to go no matter what…perhaps failure is the destination and that will be the purpose of this life?

Feel free to comment if you have even the slightest notion of anything I’ve just said lol.

Hope you’re all having a good week… Mine just got better…finally able to let the cat out. I’m sadly still waiting on Amazon’s reply; no word yet…

Catch you all soon,

Love,

ME x

 

 

 

Eternal Recurrence – or Self Perpetuating Time Loop (As I call it)

I’ve been having a slight reversal of attitude recently regarding my own contribution to spirituality in this world. I’ve spent so much time online recently and along with a wish to spend more time offline and in the real world, I came to the conclusion recently that my thoughts and contribution were not really all that necessary, given how many others clearly seem to know what is going on. I therefore withdrew and began heading back towards a regular existence with a plan to happily cease worrying about it all…unplugging the computer happily.

At the end of the day, it is very hard to be seen. It is very hard to be heard… in the vast ocean of other people’s opinions. Everyone believes they know what is going on… To say I do not feel the same would be a lie, only I don’t really use the work believe anymore.

Recently I have began to think differently to the above thoughts and have become more and more certain that withdrawal is not on the cards for me, no matter what I might want.

I am not actually offering my opinions in actual fact, as I don’t think ‘belief’ or ‘thinking’ have much to offer. Everyone is on an ever developing path and will believe different things at different times as they progress. What you believe today would have been laughed at by your former self some years ago…and so it goes on ad infinitum.

I am offering a glimpse into eternity.  I have awoken and remember my reality from the view point of all the collective memories I have now, memories which were prearranged to re-emerge within my lifetime. I can only look at them with my current mind and use them to put the pieces together. There are some conclusions which are undeniable and are not a result of my subjective thinking. They are simply a remembered fact.

Someone asked me recently how you know when memories are really your own memories and not just an implant or imagination.  I always answer the same whenever someone asks me this… do you remember waking up this morning? How can you be certain that it is truly your real memory of waking up this morning… they inevitably say, because I can remember it (of course!) and I usually say, it is the same way with memories you recover. You recognise them as your own.

The memories I have are my own memories of my own eternal life. They never change. I have been writing them down since they began to resurface in my twenties and they are still the same memories today – though they tend to grow in detail the more I look at them over time.

I realised today that the things I say are quite different to what most people say on a spiritual level though I am not alone in terms of my subject matter. Many, many religions over time have believed the things I talk about today. I simply googled ‘time repeats’ and found a multitude of different philosophers and great thinkers who have been stating this to be a real potential since time began (that we’re aware of).  It is referred to as ‘Eternal Return’ or ‘eternal recurrence.’ To name but a couple of its various titles in philosophical terms.

This is the first paragraph on Wikipedia…

Eternal return (also known as “eternal recurrence”) is a concept that the universe and all existence and energy has been recurring, and will continue to recur, in a self-similar form an infinite number of times across infinite time or space. The concept is found in Indian philosophy and in ancient Egypt and was subsequently taken up by the Pythagoreans and Stoics.

In addition, the philosophical concept of eternal recurrence was addressed by Arthur Schopenhauer. It is a purely physical concept, involving no supernatural reincarnation, but the return of beings in the same bodies. Time is viewed as being not linear but cyclical

 

This page alone contains reams and reams on the subject and I won’t discuss them all though Nietzsche was really huge on this subject and is well worth a read…This paragraph of his was often quoted by my friend whenever we discussed this subject some months before my memories came back.

…What, if some day or night a demon were to steal after you into your loneliest loneliness and say to you: ‘This life as you now live it and have lived it, you will have to live once more and innumerable times more’ … Would you not throw yourself down and gnash your teeth and curse the demon who spoke thus? Or have you once experienced a tremendous moment when you would have answered him: ‘You are a god and never have I heard anything more divine.’ [The Gay Science, §341]

I’m going to get into this subject in some depth in forth-coming posts I think but for now all I can say is this…

I know I do not have all of the answers, but I know that the life I have lived from the age of twenty one, when the universe took me literally out of my life and deliberately woke me up as well as the memories I’ve remembered from the time of my awakening which were given to me with the intention of helping others, have all came about for a reason… I know that I have no choice but to continue down this road even though it would be much easier and probably more fun for me not to do so. I was told before my incarnation that no one would believe what I was here to tell them…so its not a big deal really. I’m prepared for the failure in current time lol.

I know that in many previous cycles, the knowledge that I am here to disseminate makes me incredibly famous (about 50 years after my death lol)…sad it will have no effect on my current life cycle, which is partially why I wonder why I am bothering… then I remember. There is only one reason I fight on as I do without any real reason to, no matter how much this stuff messes up my life…

You.

At the end of the day…anyone can read, think and ponder for a few years and begin to ‘think’ they know everything… but I will go back to my original example question…

How do you know when you finally know the truth…

You just know.

It’s strange because I really am quite happy to go and spend my life working in oblivion for some random call centre, while the rest of the world increasingly runs around like a chicken without a head, wishing it had some kind of true assistance… everyone continually arguing with each other about how great each others thoughts are and how amazing their so-called gurus are… but getting no further forward.

I don’t want to be anyone’s guru… but I think that what I am here to say is somewhat different to the spiritual norm and could be genuinely be of aid to our world.

So I will continue to plod on and if anyone wishes to seek me out then I will be HERE.

…“Hi you’re speaking to Gillian today, how can I help you?” lol… if only they knew how I could really help them (giggle).

Oh well, maybe they will know in about fifty years lol.

Speak to you all again soon,

ME xxx

Do Ghosts Truly Exist…

I had an interesting conversation yesterday regarding belief in ghosts. I decided it may be helpful to write something on this subject today to clarify what I think regarding this subject.

To put it simply I don’t believe in ghosts at all. The idea that we can simply die and roam the earth afterwards is a silly one and belittles the idea of a conscious universe, in my opinion.

I know for a fact (from my own vantage point) that we are fully escorted to, from and during our incarnations on this planet. From the moment you register your death within your own awareness, the universe is right there with you shuffling you along your journey back up the chute to our own realm. I use this term, as the place we are truly alive is not of this universe, it is beyond it.

We exist in a separate time to this material universe. The only way we can actually exist here is to incarnate and we must be aided to achieve that experience by the universe itself. For the sake of this illustration, let’s say God – as in the whole conscious universe – is the Time master. He can rewind it, run it forward, and reanimate it for us. It is like a video tape to HIM. We exist outside of it and so cannot experience it except while incarnate; otherwise it is more like looking at a book rather than a video tape. In essence, it is a static to us.

We are effectively placed into bodies and made to see them as ourselves while our true awareness is hidden so that we can see through the eyes of the bodies we reside within. Once we are no longer in those bodies, we are no longer in the same place within the current time of the planet / reality. The only spirit or being who is capable of residing / moving objects / playing with us on any ghostly level – is the conscious universe itself. There are no other spirits here but that ONE.

Generally speaking you are alone here with only the universe as your partner. Everything you perceive and witness of a spiritual nature is just the universe helping you, nudging you in the right direction. If you are experiencing spiritual manifestation it is basically the universe telling you it’s time to start becoming aware of reality beyond this existence. Sometimes it is preparation for the end of life (which is why people close to death are suddenly able to see long-lost loved ones – they are not going mad, but simply becoming ready to leave). Sometimes it is as a form of condolence and comfort after we lose those who are close to us and feel unable to get by without some sign of their presence nearby. Sometimes it is because we are being asked to walk a spiritual path and continue our eternal development.

Our world is simply a doll house. Our bodies are the dolls and we are experiencing the life of the dolls while the universe plays Cindy and Barbie lol.

When we have had enough of living in this material universe we can move out of this doll house and into another which is a little bit more spiritual in nature and a little less base. There are many other doll houses, some much nicer than this one where the dolls are progressively more aware of who they truly are while incarnate… until eventually no more incarnations are required.

From the moment we die, we generally detach from our dolls and no longer see them as ourselves. We remember that this place is simply the doll house and the life we have just left was no more ‘us’ than the previous one or the next one (if there is another to come). We understand that those we love are always going to be OK as they are in the care of the universe in the same way that we ourselves are. In this way we are able to let go and move onto our next life. Even when we struggle to do this, it is not something we can prevent since a new ME is created with each life we incarnate into. We don’t exactly forget the pain right away but it fades into the background until the previous life is eventually submerged under the current happy existence that is the new child hood.

Anyway, I’ve digressed as I normally do lol. I think that is enough for today. I will write again soon.

Love to you all,

Gillian x

Goodbye To Groups…

I have spent four months sharing my knowledge online. Until this year I have remained in solitude with what I know, awaiting the day I would be told that it was time to share. That time came in January and I began to release my life’s work.

Everywhere I looked I was told that only Facebook and Twitter had the volumes of people required to disseminate what I knew to others… and so I began making associations and opened a Facebook account. I started spending time in the spiritual groups based online there. I came to realise recently that what I was told was not true.

I do not need either of those places to disseminate my story. I don’t need anyone to care about my books. I don’t need people to agree with me or tell me that my knowledge is true. I was not performing this service for any kind of acknowledgement or reward. I have made nothing from my work and do not expect to do so…

I am simply following my own path and doing what was asked of me when I first began to be taught by the universe. As I see it, I have now fulfilled that request and with the release of my next book, I will have told my story up until present time. I have released my thoughts within the confines of this blog for any who wish to read them. I will one day write another book, which will be my last. Until then I am happily planning to live a normal life in a very normal way.

The universe (as I have found many times before) has a way of always getting what it wants. If I am destined to create the sanctuary before I leave this incarnation, then that will happen to me… It is not something I need to chase.

I found my online life to be nothing short of a constant struggle with the huge egos of millions of people, who have been sold on the concept, that in a mass sea of ignorance, everyone has something worthy of being said and considered valid.

Do not misunderstand me. I too believe that individual reality is the only way forward for us in terms of our spiritual development. My problem arises when individuals with no real depth of spiritual understanding other than that which they have gleaned from others or learnt glibly from books, try to sell those truths to others as somehow equally valid and try to take cash from others in the process. It is one thing to attempt to help people to develop, it is quite another to take advantage of the weak minded and vulnerable.

We now find ourselves in a large ocean of voices which is translated into nothing short of vinegar for the spiritual thirst of any who may actually venture in, seeking inspiration or true guidance. We have lost our way, in trying to find our way forward together.

Spiritually, we no longer recognise those who truly have something worth listening to. Instead we are more likely to seek the council of those who wish to con us out of our money with promises of instant results, simply because such people are better at marketing their product and packaging them in pretty ribbons. We are like magpies that are easily attracted to shinning things. The truly wise people among us generally don’t care enough to do this and so are over-looked.

I have come to the conclusion that I should withdraw from all of the groups, though not the friends I have made in them. I will no longer partake in the constant childish squabbles that inevitably erupt while people are screaming to be heard above each other as really all they ever want is to be heard rather than to hear. Facebook is not helpful in its current format. It was for the above reasons that I have decided to post in my blog and remain solitary now. I have a small face book group too which I have set free though will continue to participate in if others seek me out there. I have made my Facebook page private now and will no longer be displaying who I am friends with from now onwards.

I have walked my own path for 23 years and for almost all of that time, I have not read the nonsense sold to the mass spiritual market. I create my own reality instead. It is a far more pleasant ride. I have God / my husband within and he is with me. I am lead from that place of power. I will share my work still and you are welcome to read it here. So let whoever wishes to read, come and read. To everyone else, I wish you all the best of luck in your own personal journey.

All my love,

Gillian

Time To Retreat… From Facebook?

I have just returned from a lovely week in Scarborough where I was finally able to rest a little and recoup some of the energy I have expended over recent months, since the release of my first book. It was lovely to simply unplug and switch off mentally for a while. I did a great deal of thinking and soul searching while I was away and came to some very serious conclusions.

I have been so much happier for the last week. I’ve been less stressed and had more energy, better sleep and more time to do the things I had to do. Over the next three months I will be busy finishing my second book, ready to publish in August. So far this year I have had no time to work on it as I have been busy recording the first audiobook (Still haven’t heard anything from Amazon…should be any day now hopefully)… and I’ve been stuck on Facebook and blogging most of the time lol.

It’s now a little scary that I have three months left to finish book two, record the next audio book and get myself ready for the next release date. I have also been offered some part time writing work, which is keeping my tied to the laptop to an even greater extent right now.

Upon my return, I had already came to the conclusion that I needed to cut my blog posts down to one or two per week and spend a lot less time on Facebook for my own sanity lol. I returned with these intentions before I checked in on everything yesterday. I found that two of the people I had begun to form friendships with on their have had lots of struggles over the last week in relation to internet trolls and people who happily use that medium to hurt one another.

I felt sad for them as I know what it is like to experience those things. People like that forget that they are dealing with real live people and not simply with some robot on the other side of a computer screen. They have feelings and are hurt exactly as they are…

On top of that, I think we all tend to forget that Facebook (as large as it is) and the communities we have formed on there are not the be-all and end-all. They are not the whole world. They are a very small part of it…and in spending all of our time on there; the world becomes incredibly small in our minds. I for one… am taking a step away now. I have much better things to do than argue with people who are really only there to entertain themselves while hurting others.

On top of this, while I think it’s great to exchange views and promote growth in the spiritual groups, I think the spiritual groups on Facebook have a few fatal flaws which probably block growth.

  • They choose a single subject matter – exclude all other subjects of a similar nature and decide they know everything that relates to it… no more discussion, objection, development or deliberation is permitted.

In my experience, most groups / philosophies have a shred of the truth held within them. A tiny part of the bigger picture…They are far from having perfect understanding of the universe or the reality we live in. The universe is a power beyond our imagining and it is more than capable of keeping the whole truth shielded from us all, and has for a very long time, even those who appear to be enlightened and seem to be the guides of our world.

I was told recently that I couldn’t post articles on reincarnation in a certain spiritual group as it was outside the parameters of their discussions. That to me sounded utterly ridiculous. If you are a spiritual forum, then that covers anything which takes place within the parameters of spirituality, within which reincarnation most certainly would fit. Spirituality is a huge subject. You can’t discuss twin flames without discussing a spiritual path and eventual enlightenment. You can’t discuss all of that and shun discussion on reincarnation… all of these subjects are part of the same larger reality… to mention but a few.

I tend to fit into all of the above places as my story spans multiple groups. If you have a full understanding and have experienced many different aspects of spirituality, then you understand that one subject is not able to be discussed in such a fragmented fashion. One subject will naturally lead into others. It is a form of fear to eject individuals without warning because they are encroaching on subjects which you understand nothing about…but this is how such groups are dealing with this issue.

 

  • They do not remove the abusive individuals (this is an occasional problem) who clearly have no inclination of working with others and are simply there to create discord.

In my recent experiences in one of the groups on Facebook I came face to face with three of the most disgusting and abusive people I’ve ever engaged with on there in my relatively short time back in social, spiritual circles. I do not expect or desire that everyone will understand what I speak about, or agree with any or all of it, but I do hope that at the very least people will recognise others to be human beings and treat them with the respect that this deserves. These people were appalling and cruel and I’m sure they won’t be the last such people I come across. They made everything that group was trying to do, redundant and worthless in one discussion.

 

  • They do not allow people to post links to blog posts or advertise their own work

What purpose do such groups provide other than the promotion of the people who set them up? I really think there needs to be a shift on the net towards group co-operation and discussion with a view to actual development.

Most of us are developing by way of our own work and studies. We all have a tale to tell but this doesn’t mean that this work is the only reason we are telling it.

If we are so frightened to allow others to talk about their paths in our groups, for fear it may show up just how little we ourselves actually know, then we should not have groups at all.

 

  • Then there’s the Mems

Memes… they are turning a lot of people off spiritual things. There are so many of them on the various spiritual sites and they have become a bit too ubiquitous. They no longer inspire, they simply give our friend J.P Sears a bit more material!

It feels as if such pretty and yet redundant quotes do little to actually help people gain a better quality of life, they have no real baring on the real world at all… but lend themselves to a lot of likes and much gratuitous hi-fiving!

Perhaps we have all fallen asleep a bit spiritually on Facebook. I hope that this is food for thought.

In the mean time… as I stated earlier. I have a great deal of work to do. I really don’t have much time to myself at the moment. So for that reason you will all be seeing a little less of me from now on. I will probably limit my posts to a couple per week from now onwards and will post a link in my Facebook sites online. If people wish to share them, they are more than welcome to do so.

I will still be around and will poke my head in when time permits but until August, my time is really precious and Facebook is becoming a bit more of a toxic environment than a place of growth and peace. Hopefully this will change by the time I have the time to come back. Catch you all soon.

Have a good one,

Love,

Gillian x